Monday, April 23, 2012

A Tantrum Between My Tympanums

LoL by: extreme_momma
@ www.cheezburger.com
This morning I woke up before 8am after nearly 11 hours of sleep.  Other than being a bit hungry and thirsty I was feeling OK and anticipating a productive day.  But before 10am I started to feel antsy which built up to anxious and then irritable.

For a time I was blaming it on the neighbor using the weed eater.  It was obnoxiously loud and the gasoline smell was nasty.  But I realized that couldn't explain it as there had been worse noise and odors on Saturday when I was sitting on the porch reading.  So something was making me less tolerant of irritants.

It seemed nothing was going right.  I made mistakes that ticked me off.  I bumped into things, dropped things, spilled things, misplaced things.  I closed browser windows I didn't mean to, I clicked on links I didn't mean to, I closed a book before placing a bookmark without meaning to, I put something in the garbage without meaning to.

My computer seemed to be conspiring to increase the negative vibes by freezing its windows, downloading excruciatingly slow, loosing the connection in the middle of a streaming video, crashing the browser and so on.

I felt like throwing the mouse at the wall, like growling at Merlin, like barking at Ed, like going back to bed so I could scream into my pillow.

I felt like it.  But I didn't.  I managed to control myself for the most part.  I got a bit whiny, saying some of the things I felt about my self and my computer and the weed eater and the heat in tones that were far from sweet.  But I didn't manifest outwardly the tantrum going on between my eardrums.

My skin was crawling, my head started to hurt.  I was nauseated.

Then at 5pm there was the first clap of thunder heralding a forty minute thunder storm.

Before the storm was over my inner tantrum had dissipated.

This wasn't the first time I correlated a bad mood with an impending storm but it was one of the worst and I didn't make the connection until twenty minutes into the storm when I started feeling better.  So I spent the whole day disgusted with myself.

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