Book Review: Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan -- Including an Interview with the Author and a Giveaway

Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan 

Publisher: Adelaide Books, NY (September 6, 2021 

Category: Literary Fiction, Fantasy, Modern Fable, and Self-actualization 

Tour dates: January-February, 2022

ISBN: 978-1955196635 

Available in Print and ebook, 

282 pages

 

Description of Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan

A modern fable about the nature of time and the quest for happiness. It's darkly funny, deceptively simple, and a necessary read for testing times. In this gripping philosophical tale, a boy awakens beneath a tree in a forest in summer. He is soon joined by Time and his slave, a withered creature hooked on time and aching to disappear. The story evolves over the course of a year as a host of characters are drawn to the Tree for guidance. The unlikely cast grapple with choices and grope towards self-knowledge in a world where compassion is interwoven with menace. As the seasons bring great changes to the forest, we watch the child grow while the trials he faces mount.  Then the time for talk and innocence passes as the forces of darkness rally, threatening the lives of his friends. Lyrical, honest and heart-breaking, Time and the Tree confronts readers with a unique perspective on the challenges life presents. A wise and hopeful book, it is uplifting and unsettling by turns.

Joy's Review of Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan

This charming tale enchanted me.  In its very simplicity it drew me in and held me as willing witness to wonder and wisdom.  Not since the era of my late pre-teens have I been so captivated by a story .  Not since the time of my early teens have I experienced the sense of having been profoundly changed at my core by a story. It was such stories that lit the flame of my love for story and memories of them that keep me on a quest for more such stories with the power to transform me and my world.

Time and the Tree is an allegory that might be mistaken for a children's story but its intended audience is as ageless as a tree that is both ancient and new every season.  The setting is the Forest over a year of changing seasons progressing from summer thru autumn and winter and ending as spring is about to give way again to summer.  On this stage in the opening scene we encounter Boy conversing with Tree his constant companion, teacher and friend.  Their dialogs are gentle lessons in living from the heart with integrity and joy.

In the midst of their communion they are joined by Time and his Shadow.  Time is a potbellied functionary with the hands of a clock attached to his navel, the second hand relentlessly circling passes just under his chin.  His companion, Shadow, waits on him hand and foot carrying the burden of all the accoutrements of an urban lifestyle upon its back for their wilderness trek.  Time is a bully constantly calling Shadow Slave and Fool and berating it for being slow and incompetent and worthless.  Time seems to think he is there to tell Tree what's what and make sure Boy has the true scoop on the meaning of life.  But Boy takes his lesson from Time not via his words but by close observation of his behaviors..

Later the group is joined by Weaver a haggard woman with eight limbs who is constantly knitting with wool and needles while weaving snares of words for her intended recruits for her icy northerner empire. Time and Weaver snipe at one another hinting at a history going back to their youth.  Once again Boy's observation of behavior has more impact on his understanding than Weaver's slippery words.

It isn't until the arrival of Wanderer, a caped traveler and adventurer, that Boy becomes enthralled by a visitor's tale.  He hangs on her every word, hankers after a dagger just like hers and spends time among the trees acting out her tales of daring do

.

Then in the midst of winter long after Weaver had left in a snit and shortly after Time, Shadow and Wanderer had set off on a joint adventure leaving Boy alone with Tree, there arrived a pair of scurrilous Woodcutters, minions of Weaver on an an ominous mission for their icy-hearted mistress...  

Of which I can say no more without providing spoilers.

Tree's conversations with each character maintain the same open-hearted respect and compassion no matter their attitude.  They remind me a bit of Plato's dialogs with a hint of Jesus' parables and sermons seasoning rich servings of Buddha and the Tao.

More of my reaction to this story is revealed below in my interview questions for Roisin Sorahan with her replies providing more insight into the heart of her story...

Praise for Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan

Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan is truly a masterpiece...A fable full of thought-provoking metaphors, knowledge, and awareness of the bigger picture...I would recommend it for all who relish beautiful literature, especially stories with a deeper meaning."-San Francisco Book Review (5/5 star rating)

Time and the Tree explores matters of spirit, intention, kindness and how to live the time that is offered through a series of revelations that will often prompt readers to set aside the tale to consider their own relationships with time and life. Sorahan's...ability to bring to life some basic tenets of existence and the existential questions many come to feel during the course of a lifetime creates an insightful read on the level of The Velveteen Rabbit classic."  - D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review 

A genre-busting masterpiece, full of pacy storytelling, wry dialogue and philosophical challenge -Declan Kiberd, Author (incl. Inventing Ireland), Professor Emeritus at the University of Notre Dame, and international authority on modern Irish literature

Time and the Tree is unlike anything I've read in contemporary literature ... a beautiful fable fit for difficult and confusing days. -Luke Gerwe - Associate Editor, PBS NewsHour, and formerly Managing Editor, Voice of Witness book series 

"An uplifting and tranquil allegory filled with positivity and hope, Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan is a magical tale of a young boy who lives in a forest, a wise and caring tree which offers shelter and guidance and numerous other characters that appear in order to challenge and change under the tree and the boy's influence. This book is filled with lessons: to be mindful and present instead of constantly rushing towards a tomorrow that's just out of reach; the importance of healing past trauma and self-love and acceptance, or showing empathy for others. Hope and positivity flows from the pages of this lyrical story as we navigate the ever-changing seasons in this magical forest. Time and the Tree is well-written, its characters compliment each other, with the naivety and curiosity of the young boy setting up many of the lessons. There is a level of spirituality in this book, it encourages meditation and gratitude while also promoting that it's ok to be you, to embrace your unique qualities and to follow your own path. Told with an emphasis on nature, Time and the Tree is an uplifting read that will infuse any reader's day with positivity. It's imagery and storyline are gentle and easy to follow with its underlying message about looking to the light in all things will leave readers with warm feelings of hope and positivity. I found this book entertaining and witty in places, but ultimately it left me with a sense of peace and calm."  -LoveReading

"This is a lovely story that, on the surface, appears like a simple fairy tale. But it is much more than that. It is full of symbolism and knowledge...this book has a beautiful message that is sure to stay with me. Time and the Tree is a beautiful debut from a talented author."-Manhattan Book Review

Joy's Interview with Roisin Sorahan

Dear Joy,

It means a lot to me that you enjoyed Time and the Tree. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I also appreciate such thoughtful and insightful questions. 

I believe the reader completes the creative process. They bring their memories, experiences, failures and aspirations, and sculpt their own meaning from it. It is with this in mind that I approach your questions. I don’t want to influence, or shape, the response to Time and the Tree. It’s important that the reader creates it in their own image, according to their need and belief, every single time.

But, to answer your first question, my name, Róisín, is Irish. Phonetically it is pronounced: Row-sheen.

1. Influences.  I hope that this first set of questions related to Influences is enough different from the question 'Where do you get your ideas?' that you won't, as most authors do for that version, turn from them in disgust and horror.:

Authors are often the worst people to describe their work. Articulate on the page, we stutter over words to encapsulate it. Some have been known to bark. I recall Samuel Beckett’s response when prodded: “No symbols where none intended.” 

But, I shall try…

A. Landscapes

What and where were the landscapes you encountered from earliest memory to the last sentence written that influenced your development of your story's landscape?

I grew up in Dublin, in Ireland. It’s a fantastic city. One of my favourite aspects of it, however, is how easy it is to get out of it and find oneself in the hills, smothered by gorse, or on the coast, doused by the smell of the sea.

Some of my earliest, and happiest, memories, are of sojourns along the west coast of Ireland. There’s magic there, it its unruly wildness.

My parents were attuned to the rhythm of the seasons. My mum grew things. My dad took enormous pleasure in the rise and fall of a wild creature’s chest. I learned to observe, and respect, the natural world, from them.

In my childhood, and in all that followed, mountains existed to be climbed; and admired. And trees, well, they offer enormous comfort, don’t they? Perhaps it’s their heartbeats that resonate with us, on a visceral level. 

Our small garden, growing up, was also a place of wonder. I recall hunkering down, head bent over the first flowers of spring. They never failed to draw me closer, and astonish me, every single time. I could have spent hours looking at them. I possibly did. 

As an adult, I took to the road, lured by the siren’s call. I’ve traveled across so many borders, now, that boundaries mean little to me. The world is astonishing in its beauty, and in its capacity to surprise. So, too, are the people one meets. 

I drew on my travels when recounting the Wanderer’s experiences. The road itself became an important landscape in my tale, with all its promise, and uncertainty. 

In this vein I can't help but wonder if you ever wandered alone in a forest as a child as Boy does?

I wandered, certainly. But with the knowledge that my parents were close by, so I never felt lost. Perhaps this sense of security is reflected in the Boy’s ease in this environment.

But, you are right to identify the important role the forest plays in the story. 

It links into the tradition of the fairy tale, where the forest is an enclosed world that can represent both danger and refuge. It thrums with possibility and life. And, for all that it keeps its secrets in the open, it hints at another space, that cannot be seen, that hovers on the edge of awareness. 

The forest is both a portal, and a boundary. 

B. Reading/Philosophies/Media

From earliest memories to the last sentence written, what were the cultural experiences from your life that influenced the development of Time and the Tree?

I live my life deliberately. I take risks and make choices. And I take responsibility for these choices. Even the bad ones. 

It’s a decision to live in this manner. It opens one to possibility; and it comforts with the knowledge that nothing is immutable, and change is always within reach. I remind myself that all that is past has significance, in bringing me to where I am. And all that follows flows from this moment. 

It makes me aware of time. It also helps me to understand that my relationship with time is within my control, and a decision that I make.

This is one of the central tenets of Time and the Tree. It challenges the reader to reflect on choices they have made, from a fresh perspective. It also offers hope. 

As our capacity for tyranny and self-destruction is enormous, so too is our light, and our ability to change. 

I am also a proponent of the Philosophy of Happiness. This, for some, is a tricky one. Culturally, we are encouraged to think of others, and do the right thing. This is critical for operating within social structures. However, this message has been packaged in guilt, and wrapped in self-sacrifice. Dousing the light, to let others shine. 

This, of course, is antithetical. 

Women, I believe, suffer particularly from societal pressure to deny personal need, desire and ambition, for the good of the tribe. They are defined by their roles. And celebrated, or shamed, accordingly. Little wonder that ‘the invisible woman’ haunts galleries, history books and tales of daring do. 

This diminishes all of us. In supressing the will to love and learn and be, it scrubs words and drags darkness into the space where the light should be. Without happiness we cannot help ourselves, let alone another.

The pursuit of happiness is explored in Time and the Tree. It examines the importance of self-actualization. It also illustrates the cost of erasing the self; underscoring the fundamental tenet that underlies pretty much every spiritual philosophy: love yourself; love others. 

Here I can't help but wonder if you discovered and loved allegory type stories as a child and, if so, which ones?

I devoured fairy tales, and all stories magical: The Brothers Grimm; Enid Blyton; Hans Christian Andersen. Then I moved on to fantasy. I read The Lord of the Rings numerous times. 

I just finished Kelly Barnhill’s The Girl Who Drank the Moon, which utterly bewitched me.

Children’s literature continues to fascinate me. It’s subversive. Magic is another word for possibility. And the format of the fable is extremely powerful.  

 

I used it in Time and the Tree because it employs a childlike simplicity that takes you by the hand and brings you to places you might never have otherwise ventured. Before you know it, you’re in the basement in the dead of night, while the wind howls and the electricity fails. 

 

Typically, fables also lead you home again; though the meaning of ‘home’ may have dramatically changed from when you set out on the journey.

C. Life Events

From earliest memories to the last sentence written, what aspects of your personal history influenced Time and the Tree?

I quit a good job to travel the world in pursuit of happiness. When I set out, I figured I’d find places that lured me into staying. However, I discovered that I was never happier than when my nose was pressed against the window of a filthy bus. The road became my destination, and I had time to think.

The opportunity to allow the mind to meander is a novelty in modern times. When my brain quit making lists, it had space for ideas.

I slept in countless beds, packed and re-packed my belongings, shedding stuff, where I could. My sense of need, my understanding of my blessings and opportunities, and my concept of home, evolved. 

During this time, I met numerous people who influenced my thinking and guided me towards my path. The opportunity to learn and practice Vipassana mediation in retreats in Dehradun in Indian, and in Shelbourne, Massachusetts, in the US, played an important role in the evolution of Time and the Tree.

Here I'm especially interested in how your personal encounters with loss and grief played a role in developing the core philosophy of Tree revealed near the end.  But if there are any others that come to mind I welcome them as well.

Death and life are intertwined. Endings and beginnings. Complicated stuff. 

We reach a point in our lives, where we all experience it, at some stage. There is no avoiding it.

Grief and death are not to be confused, however. Grief is painful and ragged. The cost of loving deeply. 

Death is what gives meaning to life. Without winter, there would never be spring.

2. Why did you choose to keep the Boy nameless and untethered to any hint of a life outside the forest?  No parents, siblings, culture of his own?  No past before the Tree?

The Boy is an archetype. He features powerfully in the story, but his role is to question, to seek, to be the site over which a battle is raged. And it is his function to transition from innocence to knowledge. 

He is a critical catalyst in the tale. But, most importantly, in retaining him featureless, he is a vessel into which the reader can pour themselves.

3. As I read your description of Weaver's Web in the far North I got chilling associations in my mind with our World Wide Web.  Was this intentional?  Part of your vision?  Or just a matter of your Story acting like a Rorschach's inkblot for individual readers as so many do?

Tyranny exists in many forms. We have witnessed this throughout history, and our current time is no different. The mechanisms of power change, but the intentions do not.

When I wrote the North, I had ample references. All of our time. They coalesced to shape this dystopian realm. The political unrest we’ve seen these past few years, and the misinformation that foments fear and creates the Other, all played into the evolution of the Weaver’s web. 

4. At one point I saw such a strong correlation between the relationship of Time and his Shadow to our Patriarchal culture's marriage dynamic that I half expected you to reveal them as the Boy's parents.  Rorschach or real?  Have you encountered in reading or travels any other culture types that use time tyranny the way Patriarchy does? Or any Patriarchy that did not? Or any at all that eschew time tyranny and yet exhibit sustainable success?

That’s a wonderful way to read the story, Joy. And I think the relationship between Time and the Shadow can be understood in many different ways.

More generally, time has always held great sway, in one way, or another. The pressure to get the hay in before the rain falls; the need to get the animals into the barn, before the night comes. The roll of the seasons, and the pendulum of day and night, have always been batons that beat out the measure of days and lives.

Then, the industrial revolution monetized time. And, in placing a value on time, it handed it to those with earning potential. Traditionally, men. The breadwinners sloughed to the factories and counted their days in hours spent earning a crust. It wasn’t great. But it was better than time being counted for nothing, which was the case of the domestic, female, sphere. Linking time to money created yet another power imbalance in the Patriarchal structure.

However, there are other ways to engage with time. And this is what Time and the Tree explores. Time is a construct of our making. The role it plays in our lives is ours to choose. It can be the yoke to which we tether our lives, as we strain and yearn towards a better future; or it can add weight to the present moment, with the knowledge that it too will pass, regardless of its wonder, or its pain.

This is central to Buddhist thinking, and it is an ethos that is slowly seeping into Western culture.

5. Why does Tree welcome Time and Weaver and exhibit a faith and hope that they can be redeemed?  Are there some aspects of these two characters that are essential to life if their attributes and actions had not been corrupted?  As distasteful as I found them I also registered empathy for them and this resonates with the personal philosophy I developed after I broke with the fundie cult I was raised in: That there is no such thing as an irredeemable sentient being.  Can you riff on this concept?

I don’t believe in the lost cause. Any more than I believe in our power to change another. We can help. We can support. And we can guide. But the impetus for change lies within the individual.

Our personal capacity for destruction and self-loathing is matched by our ability to evolve. It is within our power to create new thought patterns and relationship habits. We can change how we engage with the world, even when we cannot control society’s mechanisms. Who we spend time with; how we listen; the words we choose to speak; the silences and counsels that we keep. We can put out a hand to help another. Equally, we can decide that we ourselves are worth saving.

If this pandemic has reminded us of anything, it is that humans are adept at evolving and surviving. Regardless of how much we fight it, and how much it frightens us, change is always within our grasp.

The Tree does not bar the path to any who seeks its counsel. It does not stand on judgement. Nor does it crush its limbs, by flinging itself against the world. It helps the reader understand that “Time gives meaning to endings and beginnings and encourages us to dive into the chasm that lies between.”

It also throws the gauntlet to the reader to reflect on their path and the choices they’ve made, and the role they have cast Time in their lives.

The Weaver is more difficult to empathize with. Yet, the Tree consistently approaches her with compassion, even as it displays its steels. The Tree will not compromise, for all the Weaver’s wheedling. It will not be less than what it is. 

Ends

About Roisin Sorahan

Roisin Sorahan is an Irish author currently living in Vermont. She has published numerous stories about her adventures on the road, as well as life as an English teacher in China. Prior to becoming a nomad writer, she pursued a decade-long career in public relations. She holds a Master of Letters from Trinity College Dublin, specializing in Samuel Beckett. Time and the Tree is her debut novel. 

Website: https://roisinsorahan.com/ 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/roisinsorahan 

Facebook: https
://www.facebook.com/Roisin.Sorahan.Author 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/roisinsorahan/

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Giveaway Time and the Tree by Roisin Sorahan

This giveaway is for 3 print or ebook copies, One for each of 3 winners. Print is open to Canada and the U.S. only and ebook is open worldwide. This giveaway ends on March 12, 2022 midnight, pacific time. 

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Book Review: Odyssey of Ashes by Cheryl Krauter -- Includes Author Interview

 

Odyssey of Ashes: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Letting Go by Cheryl Krauter 

 Publisher: She Writes Press, (July 20, 2021) 

Category: Memoir, Grief, Loss, Healing 

Tour dates: August-September, 2021 

ISBN: 978-1647421328 

Available in Print and ebook, 168 pages

 

Joy Renee's Review of Odyssey of Ashes by Cheryl Krauter

What a raw and intimate story of loss and grief, of letting go of what must move on while holding on to the essential self and discovering a resilience rooted in vulnerability.  Reading this memoir of widowhood as a recent widow myself my emotions are still riding the turbulent currents of her story as I try to sort out the mix and mingle of my own emotions from hers.

She answered one of my burning questions tho.  How long?  Forever.  Grieving is not a task that has a definitive end like making a meal or writing a book.  It is as much a lifetime commitment as the marriage itself was.  Grief is transformative and as it transforms you and your life the experience of grief itself will transform.  Grief is like the weather and rivers--wind and water rushing over landscapes at times turbulent and stormy and other times placid but always a part of the landscape of your soul.  And never the same two minutes in a row let alone two days.

Cheryl Kruater plays with the extended metaphors of the River and the Weather throughout Odyssey of Ashes.  Having lived the life of a student of fly fishing for the duration of her marriage to an avid fly fisherman, she has a visceral understanding of both rivers and weather.  She knows in her pores and her bones what it feels like to be buffeted by the wind or the waters of the stream while standing beside or in it.  Now she takes that understanding and imbues her memoir of sudden widowhood with images and emotions evoked by her intimate relationship to river landscapes as she stands in her new personal landscape buffeted by the brutal winds of grief.

And then as she went in her husband's place on the guided tour of Montana rivers he won in a raffle half a year after his death, the interplay between that metaphor and the actual rivers and weather began to work healing magic on her grief, transmuting it into something she could carry into her future instead of fearing being carried off by currents of consuming loss. 

In having the courage to share this intimate memoir, Cheryl Krauter has contributed no small gift to fellow grievers.  I can testify to that having found comfort and hope in reading it as I approach the end of my first year of widowhood. 

Don't miss my Interview with Cheryl Krauter below the author photo.

Don't miss the book giveaway via the Rafflecopter link found near the end of this post.

Description Odyssey of Ashes by Cheryl Krauter

Odyssey of Ashes: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Letting Go begins with the sudden death of Cheryl Krauter's spouse. Five months later, in a stroke of irony and magic, her husband wins a long-desired guided fly-fishing trip in a raffle and Cheryl decides to go in his place, fulfilling a promise to scatter his ashes by a trout stream. Part I of this memoir is an account of the first year after Cheryl's husband's death, where she becomes an explorer in the infinite stream of grief and loss, a time traveler between the darkness of sorrow and the light of daily life. Part II concludes with stories of the poignant and humorous adventures she had during the ensuing year. Tying it all together and woven throughout is Cheryl's account of the creation of an altar assembled during the three-day ritual of Los Das de los Muertos. Poetic and mythological, Odyssey of Ashes is a raw story of loss and the deep transformation that traveling through darkness and returning to light can bring.

 

Advance Praise Odyssey of Ashes by Cheryl Krauter

Cheryl Krauter's latest memoir, Odyssey of Ashes, is both a moving tribute to her late husband John and the celebration of an emergent woman who finds herself "being carried on great winds across the sky" in a cradle of intermittent sorrow and enlightenment. Written in an enjoyable flowing format with chapters divided between two main sections, Krauter's book will break your heart while channeling habits of self pity toward doing a greater good.. You'll find good examples of ways to carry on.. Krauter shares personal, interesting anecdotes. I highly recommend this book for those who've lost a spouse and want to understand how one woman is working through it  - Shawn LaTorre, Story Circle Book Reviews 

 In this engrossing memoir, Krauter shares her journey through the deep waters of grief. Her graceful writing reminds us that the cycle of love and loss is as natural as the river current, and it is only through fully embracing the force of the waters that dry land can eventually be found.  -Allison J. Applebaum, PhD, director of the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center Caregivers Clinic and editor of Cancer Caregivers

What a moving book about loss and mourning. Cheryl finds solace in, among other things, trout fishing, rituals, Buddhist wisdom and, luckily for us, writing about her experiences.  -A.J. Jacobs, editor-at-large of Esquire magazine and author of Thanks a Thousand: A Gratitude Journey 

With profound insight, Cheryl explores the spiritual nature of life and death, the sacred connection between love and loss, life and death. A work of depth and infinite caring, this book is ultimately a gift of love, hope, and survival.  -Cindy Rasicot, author of Finding Venerable Mother: A Daughter's Spiritual Quest to Thailand

Cheryl Krauter
(c) Nan Phelps

Interview with Cheryl Krauter and Joy Renee

Joy Renee: Let me begin by saying I'm so honored to have read your story and to now be asking you questions.

You mention that you were raised in Washington State as was I so I'm curious if either you or John ever fished any of the rivers I've lived near.  I was born and raised in Longview which is where the Cowlitz river meets the Columbia.  I also lived for more than a decade in the Rogue Valley Oregon where my husband was born and raised.

Cheryl: I was born in Bellingham, Washington in 1951 and, of course, have no memory of my short infancy there. My father was in the FBI and was transferred to Richland where he must have been involved with the Hanford Project in some capacity. I have wondered if the aggressive breast cancer I was diagnosed with in 2007 was in some way impacted by my life as a toddler in this area, playing outside in the dirt, drinking the water, and so on. Richland was known in the 1950’s as “The Atomic City of the West” and held festivals celebrating nuclear energy with pride. We moved to Mercer Island, Washington when I was about four years old where I lived until I was eleven years old when my family moved to Los Angeles, California. I have a great affinity for the Pacific Northwest and my oldest friend, Bill who still lives in Seattle, shows up in many pages of Odyssey of Ashes: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Letting Go. 

We have fished the Hoh River on the Olympic Peninsula. I know that John fished the area of Rogue Valley. We fished small streams in the Dunsmuir area of Northern California as well as the Sacramento River, and streams in the Lake Tahoe area of California.  Odyssey of Ashes features fishing adventures in Montana, together in 1988, and then my solo journey in 2017 to scatter John’s ashes by the Madison River. 

Joy Renee: You noted on your visit to the mortuary that there were no sacred symbols.  Seen through the lens of a business model catering to a community with multiple traditions this seems obviously sensible.  Let the griever bring their own tradition and narrative to a blank slate.  But it is also becoming more common in our culture for people to have become disconnected from their sacred traditions of origin without replacing them and thus their encounter with the blank slate mortuary becomes their experience of the rituals surrounding the death.  Do you think the presence or lack thereof of a sacred tradition, narrative and symbolism plays a significant role in a griever's ability to process what is happening to them?

Cheryl: American culture has a profound absence of ritual around death. I suspect some of this relates to our insistence on praising a culture of youth above recognizing the wisdom of the elders. The historical foundation in America of Judeo- Christian traditions promises entry into Heaven or a deep fall through the Gates of Hell and personal stories or beliefs are seen as a rebellion against traditional religious doctrine. Throughout history any waft of a pagan spell could mean ostracism or death. Women who practiced rituals were labeled witches and suffered the flames of fire. I also think that a pervasive denial of death creates a sterile, hasty attitude that sanitizes memorial services. The oppressive attitude to quickly get through a period of mourning and move on is cruel to those who are grieving. People feel ashamed to weep, to be “out of control” when grief arises. There is an odd pressure to be stoic as if that symbolizes strength and courage in the face of loss. I was instructed prior to one memorial I attended that it would not be sad occasion but a celebration, a party where we wouldn’t have to feel bad about the death. Native traditions allow for more of a journey and speak of visitations or visions of the dead. Western culture tells us to look away from our mortality and to shield younger people from this reality, robbing them of the experience of being with loss and learning resilience.  When personal beliefs are not encouraged mourning becomes a “rush job”, something to “get through” rather than to authentically experience. 

In Part II of Odyssey of Ashes, scenes are woven between the creation of an altar during Los dias de los Muertos and, in this way, shows how ritual can offer a way to acknowledge and honor the dead while giving those of us still living an opportunity to be present with our own thoughts and feelings. Throughout the memoir, there are meditations, myths, and rituals that speak to the deep expression of grief as personally transformative.  

Joy Renee:   As you were describing the role of the River Guides in flyfishing tradition and the importance of the etiquette developed by their enclave over the centuries, it occurred to me that the terrain of grief is also a wilderness of mysterious shoals and treacherous weather in need of rules of etiquette and River Guides and I was trying to formulate a question as to whether you had found such help on your journey but then it occurred to me that it is memoirs like yours that have become my River Guides.  This extended metaphor opens up so many questions and caveats I'm not quite sure how to ask.  I am sure that though it has been of great help the memoirs haven't been enough and that is probably because text on a page can go only so far. So maybe it is truer to see the memoir writers as the Izaak Waltons which would give the 'River Guide' role to something more hands on.  

This privilege of reaching out with my questions to the author does add something helpful to the experience but I'm aware that it is a rare privilege and it is still text on a page.

Could you riff a bit on that extended metaphor of grief being a terrain in need of rules of etiquette and guides and whether you found such help and if so, was it enough and whether you think our culture could do a better job of providing it.

Cheryl: As a therapist, I am a River Guide, a Sherpa, a companion who travels the terrain of grief, the caverns of darkness in which the soul can get lost without being accompanied by someone who knows how to hold the light.  Sometimes I see myself as a minor with one of those headlamps around my head leading the way. Sometimes I am only a breath ahead, sometimes I am walking alongside, occasionally I am behind, but always with my eyes on the person who I am guiding along their way. The River Guide knows the river, where the fish lie, how the currents are running and, most essential, studies the hatch that the fish are feeding on so that the flies used in casting the line will match the tasty treats a trout will devour. A River Guide has lived with the river, is familiar with its waters, its twists and turns, yet also knows that the river is constantly changing and will not be the same one she waded yesterday. 

I do not believe that is enough to read a book about grief, yet I feel that memoir, as well as other books on grief, may help the reader feel less alone in their pain. Sometimes the reader feels less “crazy” in hearing about the experiences of another. We are talking about take-away from the written word as a possibility to soothe heartache or maybe even evoke it as a way to connect within the aching heart and find a deeper, meaningful expression of grief. The landscape of loss is explored and discovered by each of us in our own time and in our own unique way. I do not have a formula, I have no map, no GPS.  Those techniques are better left to those who guide people who need that type of structure. In the end, there is no right or wrong way to travel the terrain of grief and loss. 

Those who read Odyssey of Ashes: A Memoir of Love, Loss and Letting Go will travel with me on my own journey from the moment of my husband’s sudden death to the rivers of Montana, through storms and tears, live with me in my daily urban life, and, hopefully, gain some solace and peace for themselves.

Joy Renee: OK This question isn't inspired by your story but rather personal from one griever to another and I keep going back and forth on whether it is appropriate to even include it.  So, I'm going to leave it up to you whether you wish to answer and if you do whether you prefer, I left if off the published interview:  Either before or during your own grief journey have you noticed that our culture treats some grief as more legitimate than other grief?  I can think of two categories but there may be more.  Infants not carried to term or born too sick to thrive is one.  Another is those who passed due to either intentional or negligent self-harm.  I witnessed the first in the past and am living the second as my husband was an alcoholic.  I'm wondering if the experience of feeling pressured to move on quicker, to feel relieved or even grateful rather than devastated and shamed if you persist is common to our culture or unique to my family and/or faith tradition.

Cheryl: To devalue and delegitimize any grief is inhuman. Unfortunately, it does happen but I am seeing this start to change as people are more open to expressing types of losses that may previously have been invalidated. The loss of a child through miscarriage was often overlooked in the past but now is recognized as a painful experience. The loss of a child at any stage of life is unbearable for many people to acknowledge and the grief from that type of death may remain a silent wound. The stigma of mental health fuels the difficulty of acknowledging a suicide. People tend to be terrified of this type of death and, indeed, often are judgmental due to that fear. Again, this bias has begun to slowly shift as more people are willing to courageously come out with their stories. I have also counseled people who felt shame that they were, in fact, relieved, when someone who has been difficult dies. The death of a beloved pet can also be minimized even when that pet may have been the most important companion to the person who is grieving.  As grief work is moving out of the shadows, I believe some of these previously “unspeakable” losses can come to light. 

Comments I find particularly insensitive have to do with elderly people dying. “Oh, it was their time.” “They had good life.” Those who mourn that person are then expected to shut up and not feel their grief. 

I have spoken to the culture pressures of “getting on with it” in response to the other questions. Individual family cultures and particular faith-based cultures have their own restrictions on personal expression but that would be unique to each person. 

(You are welcome to share these thoughts on your blog if you want.)

Joy Renee: Thank you so much for your story and for giving attention to my questions.  I hope the blog tour has really given your story wings.

Cheryl: Thank you, Joy Renee. I appreciate your questions and the opportunity to write something for you. 

About Cheryl Krauter

CHERYL KRAUTER is a San Francisco bay area psychotherapist with more than forty years of experience in the field of depth psychology and human consciousness. A cancer survivor, she is the author of Surviving the Storm: A Workbook for Telling Your Cancer Story (Oxford University Press, 2017) and Psychosocial Care of Cancer Survivors: A Clinician's Guide and Workbook for Providing Wholehearted Care (Oxford University Press, 2018). She lives with her personal assistant, a cat named Amie. 

 Website: http://www.cherylkrauter.com/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tellingcancerstories 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/CherylKrauter

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Author Interview: James Zerndt

Today I'll be sharing the Q and A exchange between James Zerndt, author of The Korean Word For Butterfly , and myself.

James Zerndt lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife and son. His poetry has appeared in The Oregonian Newspaper, and his fiction has most recently appeared in Gray’s Sporting Journal. He taught English in South Korea in 2002 and still loves kimchi.

Jamie’s short story, “The Tree Poachers”, recently won WCCHA’s fiction award. Some of his short stories have also won Honorable Mention in both Playboy’s and The Atlantic Monthly’s Fiction Contests.

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James and son Jack

Joy: As someone raised across the river and 40 miles west of Portland, I can't help but wonder whether you were raised in Portland and if not how you ended up settling there.

James: I’m not sure exactly where I’m from. As a baby, I was left on the doorstep of a church in downtown Chicago. I was found by a cleaning lady who happened to be working that morning who subsequently took me home with her. For years I didn’t know I was an orphan. Not until I found an old photograph that had apparently been tucked into the basket I’d been found in. In the photo a young woman in a white dress with a purple Mohawk stood peering into the camera. Her face was gaunt. Her skin pale.

Oh, wait. This is non-fiction stuff, right? Sorry. I was born in the Midwest.

Joy: What drew you to spending time teaching in Korea?  And how has that experience changed you?

James: Adventure and money drew me to teaching in South Korea. The experience taught me to appreciate what we have in America. Prior to this, I took a lot of it for granted. I think most of us only tend to appreciate things once we no longer have them. Sad, but usually true.

Joy: How long have you been practicing the craft of fiction writing?

James: I really wanted to be a writer when I was in my early twenties. I gave up on it though. I had potential, was told I had potential by numerous teachers, but I couldn’t seem to write anything decent. Back then I was reading all the heavyweights: Dostoyevsky,  Tolstoy, Carver, Hemingway, Camus, etc... I think the problem was that I wanted so badly to write the next great American novel that I ended up intimidated myself into silence. It was only later, in my thirties, that I took it up again.

Joy: What led you to choose self-pub as your route?  How do you now feel about your experience with it?

James: I had a great literary agent for my first book, The Cloud Seeders. We had a big Hollywood production company (Gotham Group) interested in the movie rights and for about two years we waited for something to happen, but nothing ever did. It was an ulcer-ridden two years, with a lot of ups and downs as one producer then another said they were interested. But, in the end, nothing ever came of it and the publishers backed out once the movie deal didn’t happen. The whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth so when I finished The Korean Word For Butterfly I decided I didn’t want to wait around. Even the process of finding an agent can take six months to a year. It’s kind of ridiculous. And, so far anyway, I’ve enjoyed being in control of sales. What I don’t like so much is trying to promote the book. It takes up time I’d rather spend writing. Or sleeping. Or...

Joy: How big a role has reading fiction played in your life?  Who are your favorite authors?

James: Fiction has meant everything to me. My teen years were extremely lonely, so I took refuge in books. I still love all the old Russian authors. Today some of my favorite writers are Brady Udall, Roddy Doyle, Tim O’Brien, Thom Jones, Carson McCullers. Those are the first that come to mind anyway.

Joy: What are your rituals, routines or habits that promote creativity and  productivity with your writing?

James: I have only one ritual: sitting down. I don’t need much to get me writing, just time. I don’t mean that to sound pompous or anything; it’s just how it is right now. I have about six different projects on the backburner because I’m busy teaching and watching my two-year-old son. It’s incredibly difficult to find time to write now that I have a kid. It makes me appreciate the time I do get, though. It tends to come out in a big rush now when I do write because, like right now, I’m afraid I’ll be called away so I have to hurry to get it in. (Jack is napping upstairs as I type this.) Not that what I’m writing is all that great, but it doesn’t matter. What matters in my humble opinion is getting something down on paper or screen, so you have something to work with later.

Joy: What one habit or tendency does the most damage to your creativity and productivity as a writer?  Do you still struggle with it? What have you tried to mitigate or eliminate the damage?  What did and didn't work?

James: Time is the only thing that I struggle with these days. In the past it was insecurity, comparing myself to other writers to the point that I felt unworthy or incapable. Now that I’m older, I don’t care about that nearly as much. I try my best. That’s all any of us can do. And, besides, I don’t have the luxury of time to worry about it all that much now.

Joy: Have you ever had any pets?  If so would you please share a picture and/or anecdote?  Especially any where they did something that either hindered or helped your writing.  (singular or plural or none. whatever you are comfortable with)

James: We have a dog and a cat. I write down in the basement, so they usually aren’t an issue. I do seem to remember my dog pooping on a rough draft of a short story I was working on once, though. For some reason it was left on the living room floor and he planted a good one on it while we were sleeping. It’s true what they say, I guess. Everybody is a critic.

Thanks so much for the questions. This was fun!

The Korean Word For Butterfly  (linked to my Feb 4 review)
by James Zerndt
Publisher: Create Space, March 27, 2013
Available in: Print & ebook, 329 pages


From the Publishers:

Set against the backdrop of the 2002 World Cup and rising anti-American sentiment due to a deadly accident involving two young Korean girls and a U.S. tank, The Korean Word For Butterfly is told from three alternating points-of-view:

Billie, the young wanna-be poet looking for adventure with her boyfriend who soon finds herself questioning her decision to travel so far from the comforts of American life;

Moon, the ex K-pop band manager who now works at the English school struggling to maintain his sobriety in hopes of getting his family back;

And Yun-ji , a secretary at the school whose new feelings of resentment toward Americans may lead her to do something she never would have imagined possible.

The Korean Word For Butterfly is a story about the choices we make and why we make them.

Follow the blog tour for more reviews, giveaways, author interviews and guest posts: 

So Many Precious Books Feb 3 Spotlight & Giveaway
Joy Story Feb 4 Review
Joy Story Feb 11 Interview
Every Free Chance Feb 5 Spotlight & Giveaway
She Treads Softly Feb 7 Review
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The Princess Gummy Bear Feb 17 You Tube Review
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Reader’s Muse Feb 18 Review
Reader’s Muse Feb 14 Interview
From Isi Feb 20 Review
Deal Sharing Aunt Feb 21 Review
Deal Sharing AuntFeb 24 Interview
Book Dilettante Feb 25 Review
So Many Precious Books Feb 26
Carole Rae’s Ramblings  Feb 27 Review
Margay Leah Justice Feb 28 Review
Margay Leah Justice Feb 28 Guest Post & Giveaway
Romance & Inspiration Mar 3 Review

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