Beside Myself

Beside Myself 

I experienced some moments of glee in the last couple of days as I sorted through my slacks and jeans to weed out size 20 and up.

Here I am holding up the size 24 elastic-waisted black denim slacks I wore throughout the 2000s and into 2012 while wearing size 18 jeans.

I'm actually into a size 16 now and could possibly get into some styles of 14.

Since my arrival at Mom's in January of 2013 I've dropped from 220 to 160 pounds and from 44  to 37 inch waist.

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The Sister Plan

Meta Morpho Sis

Tonight is our class with the nutritionist in Battleground.  My sister and I got a family member's discount when we signed up last summer.  It was still spendy.  My share is 50% of my disability check for fifteen months.   That means 9 or 10 more months of payments.

It includes a lot of reading matter, supplements, consultations, lab tests and classes every other Tuesday and recommendations for more reading and film watching.

The Metamorphosis book is included along with the binder of articles and charts.  The book at top, Why is My Brain Not Working? is a loaner to me from his library.

You'd think I would have been treating the plan with more respect considering the cost but I've been a bit lax about it since mid November.

I've not completely reverted to across the board unhealthy choices but the handful of poor choices I have made are having a huge impact.  I've not started gaining either ounces or inches but I've stopped loosing.  Except muscle mass.  And my mood has been volatile.  And I stopped reading the material and the other complementary reading and studying I had been doing before and after signing up.

I think the two most impactful choices have been the return to drinking coffee daily after a year and a half with only rare treats and the neglect of exercise.  Those two choices contributed to an increase in insomnia again after nearly a year of only moderate issues with it.  Thus sleep deprivation accumulated and my mood and energy tanked and that fed the 'need' for more coffee and the aversion to exercise ...

This all contributed to the difficulty concentrating, staying on task and comprehending and retaining information.  Hence the loss of enjoyment in reading and writing...

So I'm back on the merry-go-round.

I have a choice to make.

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Origins -- The Movie -- A Review

Origins -- the Movie
Our Roots. Our Planet. Our Future

I just watched this as part of my personal campaign for taking back control of my health--both physical and mental.  In my case they were preaching to the converted as I've already been convinced by experience that food is medicine (or poison) for its nothing but chemical reactions. Whatever chemicals you put in the mix determine the wellness level of the organism.

Tho they did not surprise me with their premise, I did learn much regarding the role our DNA plays in our ability to metabolize the chemicals we introduce to the intricate ecosystem that is our bodies. This gave me a possible explanation for the quirky way my system reacts to certain foods and medicines and leads me to wonder just how much of my mood disorder issues might be alleviated if not cured by change of diet.

 I also learned more ways I can regain power of dietary options.  And maybe most important of all I was given a boost of hope.

Four years in the making, this documentary consults 24 experts in 19 countries in the fields of medicine, health, anthropology and ecology.  They explore the roots of our DNA and the ways in which it has not caught up with the modern world and thus is creating illness, infertility, and ecological and economic devastation.

But it is not just a doomsday alarm.  Rather it is a clarion call for concerted action on the part of groups and individuals.  They emphasize the power of our dollars as votes for change.  The point us in the direction of specific actions we can take in our own lives, homes, and communities to regain control over our health, diet, and our immediate environment.

For a short time they are providing a free viewing of this approximately hour and a half film.  Don't miss out.

As an added bonus it is full of beautiful photography of breathtaking landscapes that exudes love and respect for our planet.

Origins Movie Trailer

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Gullet Goodness

My New NUTRiBULLET

My nephew has one of these and my sister has the original Magic Bullet.  I told my sister over a year ago to watch for a good price for me on either of them.  She found one today.

Eating healthy is going to be so much easier on the teeth!

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Sunday Serenity #398

Hug More

There are scientific studies showing that those who hug daily are healthier and happier.

[This is one of the posts going up retroactively after the weeks long unintended hiatus that began the week after July 4th.  See She's Back for more detailed explanation.]

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Getting Kitted Out

For hair, face and teeth: Double-sided handheld mirror w/1X and 3X,
2 sets of summer colors headbands in slim and skinny,
a large spider clip (8 legged).
For exercise: (all Gold Gym) weighted gloves,
stretchy bands in 3 strengths,
 neoprene waist trimmer belt

For context see Friday's post, Report Card, where I discuss the reinstatement of Ed's coaching me on self-management with a focus on time management and habit formation to support my goals and fitness routines.

Based on the evaluation we did Friday to establish where I stood, Saturday Ed and I agreed that the next thing we'll work on is hygiene and stepping up the exercise which is the one thing I was able to hold onto during the latest mood dive.

For exercise I'm going to add a vigorous workout of at least five minutes between warm up and cool down.  This can be either added to the post vid chat session on the tramp or I can either get back on the tramp in the afternoon or do it with the resistance training moves or go for a brisk walk outside.  That last I can't do alone with my visual impairment tho.

The next task(s) we agreed to wrangle into habits were showering every other day and prepping for social engagement from the neck up early each day.  In other words face, hair and teeth.  And since we want to anchor each new habit onto one already established we chose before the 6:15 vid chat.  I'm to think of it as prepping for a date. :)

Currently I'm setting my alarm just twenty minutes ahead of the vid chat but I'm aiming to start setting it earlier as soon as I establish a consistent bedtime to support a 4:30 to 5AM rising.  And since to get the FHT task done before vid chat now I've got to do it immediately during that first bathroom visit, I may decide to keep it anchored to that as the wake-up time moves back.

To support a  4:30 to 5AM wake up I need to be asleep by 8:30 to 9PM.  Ed once said that it is important to think about your day starting with bed time not wake-up.  So I asked him why we weren't starting with that.  He said that other things needed to be in place to support that or I'd just fail and get discouraged.  He wants to set me up for overall success by giving me early mini successes to build confidence and motivation.

The first time I succeeded in getting the FHT done before vid was Sunday morning (for an 8:30 vid) and Ed asked me to describe how I felt.  About the best I could do was say 'pleased.'

Then he listed all the positive effects he could see just from my demeanor: nearly constant smile, animated features when speaking, head up, shoulders back, hands in motion instead of in my armpits, giggles, bright tone of voice.  I am paraphrasing and may be adding things I started to notice as soon as he started listing.

After his list he asked again.  What are you feeling?  I was able to say 'happy'.  Then 'content'.  Then he asked, Confident?  and I said, Maybe.  A bit.  He said, Energized?  I said, Yes!  Wow.

Then he said Now I want you to focus on all that good feeling and remember it and from now on when the thought of facing that task comes up replace the old automatic mood of weary fatigue and overwhelm it conjured with the memory of this.

Wow. What a light bulb moment. And what an object lesson he set me up for.  And yes he did plan it.

Now to the part about getting kitted out.

In our talks about the obstacles I'd identified that prevented me from maintaining consistent habits around hygiene I'd listed as the two biggest how cold the mornings were before the house heat has been on for at least an hour and how often Mom is in the bathroom when I headed that way for a shower or to take care of face, hair or teeth.

The solution was to get a space heater small enough to take back and forth between this room and the bathroom.  And a hands free portable mirror I could use at my desk or in the bedroom to do face and hair touch ups and put on accessories when heading out the door.

So I asked my sister to take me shopping Saturday evening and I came back with what's in the picture above plus the space heater.

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Book Review: Organic Beauty With Essential Oil by Rebecca Park Totilo

Organic Beauty With Essential Oil
by Rebecca Park Totilo
Publisher: Rebecca At the Well Foundation, Jan. 3, 2013
Print & ebook, 232 pages

This book couldn't have showed up in my life at a better time!  I was already turned on to essential oils and needed no more convincing of their effectiveness after my sister, who has been using them for several years, used them to help me through the several weeks my anxiety, depression and blood pressure meds were discontinued or curtailed after I lost insurance coverage a year ago.

These were the same weeks that the first and the worst of the shocks generated by the 'lifequake' I've been blogging about since Valentine's week last February were still rumbling through my life leaving upheaval in all environmental, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels.

She dabbed something called Serenity on my temples, neck, cheekbones and collar bones that had the power to bring me down from an hysterical crying jag and allow me to find peace in desperately needed sleep in under 90 minutes.  It contained Lavender among other things.  I continue to use it when stress is high and my meds are at low tide and it works so well I have hopes that I will someday be able to ditch the meds and depend entirely on it and other natural remedies for stabilizing mood.

Another one called Citrus Bliss she would put on a cotton ball for me to hold to my nose or lay on the keyboard where the heat from the computer would serve to release the aroma as I typed.  This would aid in waking my brain, brightening my mood and giving me energy more efficiently and lastingly than caffeine!  Then there was the Clove she gave me when my abscessed teeth flared up in late October--better pain relief than any drug.

With those three experiences behind me I needed no further proof that essential oils were essential to health and happiness when the blog tour invite for this book landed in my email.  I was excited by the blurb description and this book, unlike some, totally lived up to its blurb.  It is jammed packed with recipes whose names are drool worthy.

I suggest not reading this book while hungry.

Better than the recipes themselves are the charts and guides that give ratios and clarify principles that once understood can be applied in all similar recipes.  This is exactly the kind of thing needed by someone like me who hates to follow recipes (or crochet patterns) and would rather learn the basic principles and then create my own concoctions.

I was hoping to have mixed up and tried at least one recipe in here before time for the review but I didn't get to it.  The first things I want to make are a teeth cleaner and a mouth wash because I absolutely loathe the store bought ones.  No matter how much 'flavor' and cloying sweetener they add I can still taste chemicals so strong they gag me.

Setting aside the aroma therapy aspects, the concept of mixing ones own bath and body, and hair and skin care products is wildly appealing just for the ability to create a flavor combo you can't find in the store.  I've never seen a product that uses ginger for example but ginger is one of my favorite spices.  And what about Pumpkin Pie (my favorite dessert) as a body wash or shampoo?  Or Margarita as a mouthwash?  Or Coconut Lime as a facial cleanse?

The possibilities are endless and with  Rebecca Park Totilo’s guidance through the basics it won't be long before you can be cut loose in the garden of endless delights.


From the Publishers:

Organic Beauty With Essential Oil: Over 400+ Homemade Recipes for Natural Skincare, Haircare and Bath & Body Products

Looking for that perfect all-natural bath product?

One that will keep your skin looking great, is appealing to smell, has actual therapeutic benefits, and doesn’t break the bank? Well, here it is!

Sweep aside all those harmful chemically-based cosmetics and make your own organic bath and body products at home with the magic of potent essential oils! In this book, you’ll find a luxurious array of over 400 Eco-friendly recipes such as Exotic Patchouli Massage Oil, Zesty Banana-Lemon Foot Cream and Jasmine Bath Bombs filled with breathtaking fragrances and soothing, rich organic ingredients satisfying you head to toe.

Designed with the naturalist in mind, each formula draws from essential oils’ well-known skin rejuvenating effects, showing you how to best care for your unique skin and hair type using all-natural botanicals. Included you’ll find helpful tips and customizable recipes – all with step-by-step instructions – so you can have the confidence knowing which essential oil to use and how much when creating your own body scrub, lip butter, or lotion bar!

Discover how easy it is to make bath treats like fragrant shower gels, dreamy bubble baths, luscious creams and lotions, deep cleansing masks and facials for literally pennies using only a few essential oils and ingredients from your own kitchen with Organic Beauty with Essential Oil.

What they are saying:

“Smart and easy recipes.  Just love this book , makes life easy.  Good recipes to follow and also healthy.  So I don’t have to waste my money buying stuff full of chemicals. I just make them myself with organic ingredients”-Shirlmore, Amazon Reviewer

“I recently opened my own massage business. What I wanted to do was offer a service where I could use organic, soothing oils and lotions that would rejuvenate and refresh my clients all while allowing their bodies to absorb essential nutrients. Sure, I found products I could buy at stores that promised the same effects for a lot more money, but I would end up losing more then I was gaining.  Then I found this book. I don’t know what I would’ve done without it. It was literally everything I was looking for. I was able to create all different types of massage oils: lemon-aloe, grape-fruit honey, the list goes on!. The best thing was that all these ingredients barely cost me anything! And I have so much fun experimenting with different ingredients! My clients love it and my business is booming! Couldn’t have done it without this.”-DJesus, Amazon Reviewer

” I’ve recently been having an issue with my body lotion and the soap I’ve been using. Every time I would get out the shower I’d itch and it was because the soap was too harsh on my skin and would remove all the natural oil from my body!  Thank god for Rebecca Totilo. The best part is that the book doesn’t just stop at teaching you how to make your own soaps or body wash, you can also make your own mouthwash (the spearmint-aloe is INCREDIBLE) and lip balm! Literally everything that author Rebecca Totilo writes about are products that leave you feeling refreshed, clean and completed renewed! Now I’m itch free and loving my yogurt walnut facial scrub and my Rosewater night cream. Greatest book ever! Kid you not!”- Charlie “Reuben”, Amazon Reviewer

” How cool! Organic Beauty With Essential Oil made me a hero. My wife, who is into natural products and essential oils, has been hounding me to move away from “unnatural” remedies. Well…imagine her surprise when I came home with this book and was able to share with her some things she didn’t know. Now she’s confiscated the book and has fallen in love with the wealth of knowledge that is contained in the pages. Rebecca has a potential best seller on her hands and for those interested in a better life this is a must read!”-Chuck Gallagher, Amazon Reviewer

“This is a wonderful book and a superb guide to essential oils. The writer was very thorough and included recipes for skin, hair,mouth, feet, hands – let me say for every part of the body. The recipes are also easy to follow and come from things that are already in the home for eg., apple cider vinegar, mint leaves and witch hazel to name a few. I am new to making cosmetics so I wanted a book that would guide me to the use of the various essential oils – this book did not disappoint! All I wanted to know about essential oils was there. I can now tell the difference between fragrance oil and pure essential oil and also how to use them for my health and skin care. This book is a classic, a must have for everyone who wants to get in the organic skin care. Beautifully written and so easy to work with. It is one of my favourites.“-Esther, Amazon Reviewer

Rebecca Park Totilo’s flair and passion for life bursts into living color when she writes and speaks, as you will see in the visual way she presents herself.  She literally believes in the “show, don’t tell” principle in everything she does.  Becca has ministered to literally millions of people via television, radio and live appearances. She is an award-winning published author of over 40 books, including “Therapeutic Blending With Essential Oil”, “Heal With Essential Oil”, and “Through the Night With God.” Her credits include working as a contributor writer on two best-selling series (“Quiet Moments with God” and “Stories for the Teen’s Heart”) which sold over one million and five million copies respectively.  She is also a freelance writer for several national magazines include Christian Parenting Today, Discipleship Journal and Woman’s World.

Rebecca’s photography work has appeared in numerous national magazines such as Woman’s World, Sports Spectrum, Evangel, and Sharing the Victory.  But by far, her greatest accomplishment, if you asked her, is after a decade of rejection slips (with almost 150 in one year!), Rebecca hit it big in 1999, with over 13 books contracts, ranging from teaching curriculum to gift books and devotionals for adults.  Truly, its her grit determination that makes her inspirational writings draw such a mass market appeal.

Rebecca graduated from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1986 with a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Information Systems. In addition, she attended Faith Bible Institute in Richmond, Virginia for instruction in ministry and University of the Nations in Hawaii. She is also trained as a Clinical Aromatherapist and is an international educator offering online courses on the art of perfume-making and how to blend with essential oils worldwide on her website http://rebeccatotilo.com. Rebecca owns a cute soap boutique, Aroma Hut, near the beach in Florida where she practices as an Clinical Aromatherapist.

Rebecca won the Writer of the Year in Non-Fiction (National Writer’s Association)

Rebecca on:

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Google+

Follow the blog tour for more reviews, giveaways, author interviews and guest posts: 

So Many Precious Books Jan 2 Review & Giveaway
Teena in Toronto Jan 3 Review
Daddy Blogger Jan 5 Interview  7 pm pst Google Hangout- Live
Saving for Six Jan 6 Review
Taking Time for Mommy Jan 7 Review
Library of Clean Reads Jan 8 Review
Just Another New Blog Jan 8 Review & Giveaway
Indie Review’s Behind the Scenes Jan 10 Live Radio 7pm
Luxury Reading Jan 13 Review & Giveaway
Daddy Blogger Jan 15 Review
Let’s Talk About Books Jan 16 Review
Princess Gummy Bear Jan 17 YouTube Video Demo
Peppermint Ph.d Jan 20 Review & Giveaway
Mrs. Mommy Booknerds Jan 21 Review
Deal Sharing Aunt Jan 22 Review
Beagle Book Space Jan 22 Review
Joy Story Jan 23 Review
I’d Rather Be At the Beach Jan 24 Review & Giveaway
Thoughts In Progress Jan 27 Review & Giveaway
Sincerely Stacie Jan 28 Review
Beauty Is a Sleeping Cat  Jan 29 Review
Sammy The Bookworm Jan 30 Review  & Giveaway
Genuine Jenn Feb 3 Review
Mama Knows Books Feb 4
Books, Books & More Books Feb 5
Life Happens With Kids Feb 6

http://www.virtualauthorbooktours.com/

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Light My Fire

My New Nature Bright Sun Touch Plus
with high lux light lamp and air ionizer

I've been interested for years in the reports of the effectiveness of light that simulates bright sunlight without the UV on several health issues, including mood, energy, circadian rhythm, and the immune system.  I found a very good price on one of the personal therapy lamps Cyber Monday Week and ordered one.

It arrived today but I didn't have an opportunity to pull it out of the package until nearly midnight, which is not a good time to be using it if you are trying to set your sleep cycle for early bird.  But I needed to get it set up for use first thing in the morning and I needed a topic for a quick post.  So I turned it on briefly to get the picture.

Then I got another picture after turning it off to show the air vent that releases ionized air particles, created by a separate electrostatic device.  Some recent studies have shown that the combination of high lux light and ionized air has a cumulative effect on those with SAD or mild depression.

I'd been looking into ionized air as an air purifier for our home last year to eliminate the allergens and cigarette smoke so I was pleased to find a light therapy lamp that included the ionization.  This small ionizer is not likely to have much effect on the large areas of the rest of the house but I'm hoping it will have a significant effect here in this small room.

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Got the Grumps

moar moody kittehs  see share caption vote

Had another tooth extracted this morning.  Then saw my med nurse this afternoon--we're upping the Welbutrin back to where I used to have it before we lost our insurance last year.  Between the two I'm hoping for leaps of progress soon.  Sans infection and back on therapeutic levels of W should combine to raise energy and stamina, brighten my mood and increase creativity and productivity.

It's been a long time since I didn't feel like I was sick or coming down with something.  And that won't change immediately.  Today after the extraction was one of the worst for feeling sick in a long time.  The pain in the tooth area itself has been mild but I ached all over and was extremely fatigued.  And I had a headache, sinus headache, ear ache, stiff neck and sore jaw, sore and achy throat.  It was like having mumps and mono at the same time.

It doesn't help that I'm operating on a heavy sleep deficit again.  I've been very lax on my sleep schedule for several weeks now and am fast loosing whatever dividends it might have paid off with lack of concentration, irritability, low tolerance for frustration, forgetfulness, self-eschewing, lowered productivity.

It is time to get back on the success track.

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You Know the Drill

moar funee kittehs  see share caption

My second dentist appointment is tomorrow.  I've been on the antibiotic for two weeks now and he's going to extract the back molar on the upper left with the infected root.  What's left of it.  One puss wrapped root attached to a stub barely peeking above the gum.

It did not help my anxiety to hear him say that he hopes it is a simple extraction and does not become oral surgery.

Also tomorrow he is going to scrape calcification off the neighboring tooth which also has a large cavity.  He is hoping he can prep that cavity for a filling without exposing the root.  Otherwise to save it would require several procedures with a final cost amounting to more than twice what we paid for our last used car. None of which can be performed at this sliding scale office.

So if that happens I'll be telling him to yank it too.

Then probably later this month I'll be back to have him look at the tooth just under the one he is hoping to fill.  This one is also not salvageable.  It is shaped much like Crater Lake.  A jagged edge around a bowl whose bottom is exposed gum.  I fear any morning now I'm going to wake to the pain signaling that the root has been exposed.  I'm certain it too is infected.

There is one more broken tooth to fix on the other side.  I don't know if Medicaid will cover that one though as the rules seem to insist that only procedures done to alleviate debilitating pain or infection can be covered.  And the rules governing this sliding scale dentist office allow only one x-ray per visit so I had to choose which 1/6 of my mouth to have him look at first.

I think I chose wrong because the lower jaw on the left is the one hurting the worst since the day after that appointment.

I've been living with some level of infection and pain from low grade to excruciating since 1998 when there was an abscess on the tooth he is extracting tomorrow.  I was on SSI and medicaid then too and I called around (when I wasn't sitting on the floor kicking the couch and swooning) everywhere north of Longview to Olympia and south to Portland and couldn't find a single one willing to take on a new Medicaid patient.

The next time I saw a dentist was in 2000 when Ed's tech job in the Silicon Valley provided insurance that covered it.  But I'd barely got started before the dot.com crash and we lost everything.  They'd only taken all the x-rays and set up a plan and done the cleaning.

The next time after that was in 2006 when Ed's job in the Rogue Valley finally offered a dental plan with a co-pay we could afford.  But I got only one visit with the dentist that time.  The one where they take all the x-rays and show you what is going to need to be done.  But my blood pressure was too high and they refused to start the work until my doctor signed off.  It took my doctor a year to get my BP under control with four meds taken daily and by then we no longer had that dental plan.

Recently in all my reading about blood pressure I learned that infected teeth and gums can contribute significantly to it.  And that just confirms what I've always felt--that the health of the mouth and teeth is as much a medical issue as any other aspect of the body.

It has always mystified me why dental work is treated as if it has little to do with medicine or well being and classified as elective and cosmetic.  Nice to have if you can afford it but not necessary until the pain gets so bad its making you mental and even then doing what's necessary to save the tooth is still considered elective.  Like face lifts and tummy tucks or BMWs and sapphire tiaras.

I wonder how much of what they are treating as depression is really, at least in part, the low energy and fatigue caused by that chronic infection and pain.

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The Eyes Have It

moar kittehs  caption share vote

Went to the eye doctor today.  Not for new prescription glasses or any other potential benefit for my eyes but to get evidence of the severity of the retinitas pigmentosa as the next hoop to jump to qualify for state benefits so that I can have medicare so that I can have my prescriptions for blood pressure and mood disorder now numbering six and maybe stay alive and maybe sane.

And because they didn't schedule the field vision test for this appointment I have to go back again in two weeks for that to get the proof of what the eye doctor today estimated based on his visual observation of my retinas that I now have less than 5 degrees of vision. That's 5 out of the possible 180.

The state defines legal blindness as less than 20 degrees.  I was already at 12 to 15 the first time I went on disability in 1989 and the RP is by definition a degenerative disease and still no cure in sight.  So it would have taken a miracle of Gospel proportions to have changed that yet because I had the  good fortune to be able to go off the disability for over ten years I have to apply again as if I never did.

Do I sound bitter much?  Sorry but something about dealing with the system makes one feel less than.

The system looks at you with soulless eyes as if through a microscope at bacterium on a slide.  So one comes to feel a bit like a bacterium--a parasite needing to be exterminated.

Every time I go in to see my counselor I'm given a form to fill out to measure my subjective sense of my mood that day and one of the questions is: How often in the last two weeks have you felt you were a burden to family and friends?  never, sometimes, half the time, nearly every day, every day.  I always answer one of the last two even when for all the other questions I can answer one of the first two.

And I always silently add 'society' or 'community' to the list after 'family and friends'.

It doesn't help that as a political news junkie I'm tuned into the current debate in America over healthcare reform and that the overall mood of that debate paints taxpayer funded healthcare and other 'entitlements' as burdens on the hardworking Americans and is creating a sense that anyone needing help from the system is a 'user' or a 'taker' and that if the so called American Dream isn't working for you it can only be because you're too lazy to work for it and that the kindest thing we can do for people who can't or won't 'pay their own way' is eliminate all the 'entitlements' in order to force them to 'pull their own weight'.  But if you can't or won't 'pull your own weight' than have the decency to keep your weight off the backs of your fellow American Dreamers as you sink into the mud beneath their gold booted feet.

So.  OK.  The fact that question is on that 'mood-o-meter' questionnaire is testament to the fact that 'feeling like a burden' is a symptom of the illness and thus not necessarily a rational or objective view.

But it isn't necessarily irrational to interpret the mood of the nation that way and thus see yourself through the eyes of the Paul Ryans and Rand Pauls and the Tea Party protesters and the Rush Limbaughs and Ann Coulters and Michelle Malkins... all those voices that are all but chanting for people like me to just lay down and die already.  Just get out of the way so the 'real' Americans can have the freedom to grab their bootstraps and bound up the ladder of success as weightless as frogs in space.

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Sunday Serenity #325

Us Summer 2011

I'm going to do something I rarely do here and post a full face picture of myself.  This in honor of the fact that all of my serenity and joy of the last week is wrapped up in what this pic represents.  It was taken of Ed and I at Rice Hill OR where he'd met my sister and I to transfer my stuff from her car to his Dad's car upon my return from the  May-August visit at Mom's in Longview.  When I'd gone for Mother's day and stayed for my niece's wedding in July and my sister Jamie's surgery in August.

Anyone following my blog this month will know that we nearly split the week of Valentine's but managed to stop the bleeding of our broken hearts before they bled out via some intense email exchanges.  Then this past Thursday my sister drove me down after more of my stuff I'm going to need for the extended stay at Mom's and Ed and I had some intense face-to-face encounters that began the healing process.

My extended stay in Longview is for tending to a health crisis brought on by loss of my meds after we lost health insurance through Ed's job.  So I'm staying here where my sister can be advocate, phone contact and chauffeur as I get the necessary help and until something can be established back home to carry it forward once I'm stabilized again.

I have mentioned my various health issues here in the past but do not dwell on them nor feature them very often.  I will break that tradition now as my life is becoming an exercise in getting healthy and independent so that I can step up as full and equal partner with my husband and I can't imagine continuing to blog daily if I try to keep all of this private.

For now I will just list the issues:

I'm legally blind due to Retinitis Pigmentosa aka RP aka Tunnel Vision. This is a degenerative eye disease that takes the night vision first (my teens) then a progressive loss of peripheral vision (my twenties with legal blindness reached by age 27) and finally encroaches on the central vision (I've lost so much of the central in my left eye I can no longer read with it and it is closing in on the right as well)

My blood pressure was in the range of 220/120 when I finally started treatment in 2006 which was life threatening not to mention the risk of stroke that could take language from me.  It took a combination of four meds to get it under control and since last August I'd been taking only one or two at any one time as we tried to stretch a month's supply into six weeks or two month's.

I have a mood disorder that includes severe anxiety issues especially social anxiety along with episodes of severe depression.  All of that accompanying severe insomnia to the point I often go days without sleeping at all or weeks with sleeping less than four hours at a time. And the when is all over the clock.  The artist of the cat naps I am.  I went off the meds for this last August and thought I was coping but apparently nobody else thought so and once this latest crisis hit it became obvious to me as well.  The clinic my sister took me to is going to screen me for bi-polar next month before restarting the meds which probably won't be the same ones as before as my sister mentioned that she didn't think they were all that excellent.

I am also overweight by maybe 60-70 pounds now.  I've lost about 50 in the last three years that has come off without going back on.  I've come down from a size 24/26 to a size 18/20.

Additionally I have dizziness and balance issues, joint pain, significant loss of hearing accompanied by loud ringing in the ears and a mouth full of rotten teeth.

My sister is actually excited about the prospect of getting my health overhauled.  I wasn't feeling real cooperative about it at first but am now on board.

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Olbermann Nails It

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Here is the first of the five videos available on MSNBC of Keith Olbermann's hour long special comment about health care reform. Finally someone is talking about what matters and why it should matter and why we should care. For Keith as for so many of us the political has become personal. As he has been forced into an all to0 intimate and intense dealing with the health care system as over the past several weeks he helped his elderly father deal with a major life-threatening crisis.

I highly recommend watching all five. It is not just moving and thought-provoking but educational. Plus the story of his father's health crisis and his personal reaction to what he encountered during his father's care is scattered throughout the five segments. As you might imagine, I am intensely identifying with him as memories of my own mother's broken hip, hip surgery and post op stroke eleven months ago are triggered by Keith's story.

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Thursday Thirteen #118 Mini-Tramp Benefits

Thursday Thirteen

This is a pic of my tramp taken in early November a week or so before I was clobbered by the first of two colds. The research I did for this post suggests that I shouldn't have stopped cold just because I was feeling like crud.

Yes, I know TT has been discontinued by the hub owners but I have a tenacious streak. I've not missed a week in 117 weeks and something about ending in the middle of a month bothers me. Besides the topic I wanted to post about today lends itself well to the TT format. So even without a hub to announce at... I'll probably do it again next week. Then I'll reevaluate the first week of 2009. I'll likely be in Longview WA helping with my Mom's hip surgery and stroke recovery by then anyway. Would have been a week ago if not for the snow and ice on the roads between Sourthern Oregon and Southern Washington.

Thirteen Things About the Benefits of Rebounding aka Mini Tramp Exercising

1. Mini-trampoline workouts aka rebounding is low impact and thus less stressful on joints, especially knees and ankles.
2. It exercises every cell in the body via gravitational forces, including immune system cells.
3. It improves blood circulation to all parts of body and oxygen circulation to the tissues.
4. It stimulates circulation of the lymphatic system which aids in moving toxins out of cells and into the elimination system and nutrients into cells. The lymph system has no pump of its own and depends on the body's movement to work efficiently. It carries nutrients from the blood to the cells and waste from the cells back to the blood.
5. It improves the efficiency of the entire gastro-intestinal system.
6. It eases menstrual cramps and other associated discomforts.
7. It is fun and relaxing. I find it meditative at times. Thus there is less resistance to staying committed.
8. It is safer for someone with visual impairment like me as there are no curbs, cracks, cars, bikes. trikes, tykes, twigs, rigs, pedestrians, pets, puddles or other obstacles to trip me up or startle me.
9. It can be done indoors or outdoors. Some models are portable enough to travel with.
10. It can be done while listening to music, talking on the phone, watching TV. Unless of course, like me currently, you can't have it indoors. I've been using the time to visit with my husband when he happens to be there (smoking usually because he can't do that indoors either) but when I'm alone I meditate or think about one of my writing projects, talk to the cats, and pay close attention to what's going on nearby in the life of the trailer park to soak up the ambiance and inspiration for my novel in progress, Mobile Hopes. I could listen to my discman I suppose but there is something wrong with the latch so the lid won't tolerate bouncing.
11. It seems to help minimize the issues I have with balance and dizziness which tend to get extreme whenever I get a virus and tend to hang on for weeks and months after. I sure have noticed significant reduction in dizziness and the tendency to fall or bump into things which had been plaguing me since I had the flu around Easter.
12. I've also noticed that workouts invigorate me physically, mentally and emotionally. I stay more active and alert and ambitious in the hours after a workout and more focused. I don't know why this should be so more than for other forms of activity but I have repeatedly found it so in the years since I first encountered them in the late eighties.
    
    I had one for most of the nineties though I wasn't continuously faithful in its use. I gave mine away when we moved to California in 99 and missed it so replaced it a year later and made huge strides in physical, mental, and emotional areas in the following three months. But that one went into a storage unit when my husband's dot com job went bye-bye and ended up abandoned along with everything else when we had to flee the Silicon Valley on a Greyhound in August of 2001. So I've been without since March of 2001.
13. Even though, because of the effect discussed in #10, I used my brand new mini-tramp to help me stay awake and engaged for the entire 23-hour-read-a-thon, I've also noted that my issues with insomnia are much improved as well.
    

For more info:

Why rebounding is beneficial

Mini Trampoline Troubles Solved
see lower left sidebar at this site for info links on benefits.

The following video is of a woman demostrating the beginner's level--the health bounce in which the feet stay in contact with the mat and the movements are gentle and slow. This is the level I am back at again after two colds in less than four weeks.







Here's a video of the same woman demonstrating the next level, a vigorous aerobic workout involving the feet leaving the mat both at once as well as one at a time. Other than an easy marching step in which I could lift one foot at a time until the knee was level with the hip, the only time I ever reached anywhere close to this level was in the fall of 2000 when I had a self-imposed rule that I couldn't watch more than one hour a day of news or talk shows except if I was on the tramp. I watched the coverage of the 2000 election recount obsessively through to the inauguration.

Here's a video talking about how calorie burning is %15 more effective with rebounding exercise versus walking or jogging.

Here's one with a doctor talking about the benefits, especially for the lymph system.

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Cold or Flu?

I set out to solve the dilemma once and for all. Is it a cold or the flu? After hours of Googling I'm as confused as ever. Only with a lot more words and images jammed in my head to argue both sides of the debate.

I'm too tired and bored now to regurgitate it all but I thought I would share a few pretty images of viruses and the sites which create and present them as they are both valuable resources and and fascinating to explore beyond the cold and flu virus images.

The first site is 3DScience.com which has a lot of images and animations in 3D of a variety of human anatomy and biology subjects. It was there I found images of the influenza virus.



The second site is The Institute for Molecular Virology at the University of Wisconsin Madison. In their Virus World database they too have a plethora of images and animations but as the name indicates it is all about viruses. Yet I found no images of flu viruses there. Though there were images of both the adeno and rhino versions of the common cold virus.





Those last two bear a strong resemblance to Koosh balls don't they?



{Did you come looking for my Friday Snippet? Try again tomorrow. My intent when I began the research for this post was to throw up a quickie in fifteen to thirty minutes to limit the time and energy expenditure as I'm still quite low on stamina. And to allow me to return to the riveting Stephen King novel, Duma Key for a couple more hours.

I should have know myself better than that. Here I am SIX hours later. Still no answer to the burning question of the week. And still no snippet prepared--it only took me three hour to write and post a hot-off-the-keyboard snippet last week; and around two the previous week. To top off the insults I am no further along in Duma Key which is now on the overdue clock--tick, tick, tick.}

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