A Tantrum Between My Tympanums

LoL by: extreme_momma
@ www.cheezburger.com

This morning I woke up before 8am after nearly 11 hours of sleep.  Other than being a bit hungry and thirsty I was feeling OK and anticipating a productive day.  But before 10am I started to feel antsy which built up to anxious and then irritable.

For a time I was blaming it on the neighbor using the weed eater.  It was obnoxiously loud and the gasoline smell was nasty.  But I realized that couldn't explain it as there had been worse noise and odors on Saturday when I was sitting on the porch reading.  So something was making me less tolerant of irritants.

It seemed nothing was going right.  I made mistakes that ticked me off.  I bumped into things, dropped things, spilled things, misplaced things.  I closed browser windows I didn't mean to, I clicked on links I didn't mean to, I closed a book before placing a bookmark without meaning to, I put something in the garbage without meaning to.

My computer seemed to be conspiring to increase the negative vibes by freezing its windows, downloading excruciatingly slow, loosing the connection in the middle of a streaming video, crashing the browser and so on.

I felt like throwing the mouse at the wall, like growling at Merlin, like barking at Ed, like going back to bed so I could scream into my pillow.

I felt like it.  But I didn't.  I managed to control myself for the most part.  I got a bit whiny, saying some of the things I felt about my self and my computer and the weed eater and the heat in tones that were far from sweet.  But I didn't manifest outwardly the tantrum going on between my eardrums.

My skin was crawling, my head started to hurt.  I was nauseated.

Then at 5pm there was the first clap of thunder heralding a forty minute thunder storm.

Before the storm was over my inner tantrum had dissipated.

This wasn't the first time I correlated a bad mood with an impending storm but it was one of the worst and I didn't make the connection until twenty minutes into the storm when I started feeling better.  So I spent the whole day disgusted with myself.

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But What About the Fur Babies?

Watch a Japanese woman reunited with her fur baby after the tsunami

As I watched video of the tsunami last Friday,my first thoughts were for the families and their terror, loss, injury, grief and the irrevocable upheaval of the survivors lives. But it wasn't more than a few breaths later that I began to worry and wonder about their fur babies--family pets. Probably because my imagination instinctively went to the What if it happened here scenarios and I live in a household with a cat and a dog, our neighbor on one side has several cats and our neighbor on the other two lap dogs.

And I remember vividly our two weeks living on the streets of Santa Clara County California after Ed lost his tech job with our two cats in crates and being ineligible to sleep in a shelter as long as I was unwilling to give them up.

I know many would see this as far far from a primary consideration. It would never be something we could expect a government agency to take responsibility for so that is why not-for-profit organizations who set up to provide rescue and support for animals in crisis--including post-catastrophic events--are so appreciated by those of us who know the profound bonds that are possible between a human and their fur babies first hand.

The icanhascheezeburger.com is recommending Japan Earthquake Animal Relief which is accepting donations to help animals affected by the earthquake.
I assume icanhascheezeburger.com has vetted this agency so I'm rushing to post this before doing so myself. If I should learn anything to the contrary I will update this post.

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Meet Bruiser

Meet Bruiser, my in-laws new dog, a two-year-old Standard Beagle who was added to the family while I was in Longview this summer.

These two pics (above and below) were taken this afternoon shortly after Ed and I returned from a run to the library and grocery store which included a stop at Subway where we'd eaten lunch and I had taken one bite out of the second half of my twelve incher and said I was full and wrapped it back up.

I had brought in the library books and Ed brought in the groceries and my sandwich. After depositing the books on the bed I went to the kitchen to put away my healthy snacks. As I crossed the kitchen I stepped on a Subway napkin, picked it up and put it in the garbage and came back around the table to the sacks only to step on something that slid under my foot. It was the wrapping paper for my sandwich which was nowhere to be found. Only a stray leaf or two of spinach on the floor.

I went to ask Ed where he'd put my sandwich and he said on the table with the sacks. I shook my head. Its not there. I found its wrapper on the floor.

And he was the one who lectured me on the drive home Sunday and several time since about the way things have to be now we have Bruiser in the family. Like: no food in his reach can be left unattended; hook the bedroom door when you leave the room as it won't latch and Bruiser can push it open possibly start a fight with Merlin and definitely eat his cat food which makes him sick; keep Merlin locked in the room like before with Sweetie because of the doggie door, which had been closed up since Sweetie died last August but was now open again.

So a few minutes before I took these pictures, Bruiser had gobbled my six inch Fiery Turkey Jalapeno Melt. With extra Jalapenos.




A few hours later I decided it was time Merlin and Bruiser had a monitored encounter as it was past time that Merlin was allowed excursions out of the room again. He'd been given free reign of the front of the house after Sweetie passed and once the weather permitted this spring he had daily leashed visits to the front porch that lasted from 30 minutes to 3 hours or longer depending on his contentment.

So I brought him out but had Ed set up a short leash for him attached to the heavy bench on the far side of the driveway from the porch where Bruiser was leashed.

At first Bruiser lunged and barked and whined and whimpered and slobbered at a Merlin just out of reach and Merlin cringed and fluffed his fur big but did not his. I was sure it was all going to be OK as earlier today Merlin had got out of the room as I entered and he and Bruiser encountered each other in the hallway and touched noses. Merlin had raised one paw about half an inch off the floor and Bruiser had yelped and turned and ran. We're guessing he'd been slapped by a cat at some point.



Out in the driveway tonight Merlin soon figured out that Bruiser could not reach him and began to lower his hackles and I felt safe enough to move away and start taking pictures. My FIL was still standing at the ready to grab Bruiser's leash if need be.

But it wasn't long before he felt confident enough to go back up on the porch. And I felt confident enough to settle in the blue chair to the left there.



It wasn't long before Merlin settled by my right elbow either studiously ignoring Bruiser or finding the kids and dogs and cars going by more interesting.



But Bruiser watched Merlin obsessively for a bit. At first with the characteristic Beagle pose with nose pointed and body still as stone. I missed that shot but got this one after he lay down on the far side of the driveway, still eying Merlin.



But soon he too turned his head away.



But only for a few seconds. He had to peek.



And so did Merlin though both carefully pretended not to.



Bruiser went in the house with my in-laws about half an hour later but Merlin and I sat outside for over an hour. First across the driveway there and then after Bruiser went in we moved up onto the porch. I read fifty pages in Lori Lansen's The Wife's Tale, one of my new library books, while Merlin explored all the new smells on the porch to his heart's content.

Today my first haul from the library after six or seven weeks away included seven novels and six DVD. I have said here recently that I felt a fiction binge coming on and I am going to honor it. Since yesterday evening I read both of Alice Hoffman's Green Angel and Green Witch. One of the books I checked out today was her Here on Earth. I thought I had read it when it was an Oprah Book Club selection but I did not recognize anything from the inside cover so I checked it out. I may discover it's a re-read once I get into it but that's OK it would have been over a decade. I'm quite the same person as I was then. I just need a Alice Hoffman binge after re-reading Green Angel last night and reading Green Witch this morning and Here on Earth was the only one on the Phoenix shelf. I'll have to send for the others.

I'll leave a more detailed list of my library loot in a later post as I'm eager to get back to The Wife's Tale. Besides it is off topic for this post.

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Camping Beside the Carport

We--Ed and I and his parents and our cat Merlin--are staying at his brother's this week while the bathroom at home is being remodeled. Merlin, Ed and I are staying in the camper parked next to the carport in the back yard. Though we do have dinner with the family in the house and hang out in there during parts of the day. We expected this to be less than a 72 hour thing--leaving home shortly after noon on Monday and returning Wednesday afternoon.

But today the contractor hit an unexpected snag. When he was removing the hot water tank its bottom fell off because it was rusted out. And he found the floor under it was also going to need replacing. In fact this was where the leak that ruined the floor in the bathroom had been coming from all along. At least three years!!

Ed's brother had replaced a major section of the floor in the bathroom and the hall outside the summer of 2007 and the toilet along with it having blamed the problem on the bad seal at its base. And that may have accounted for most of the damage between the toilet and the hallway where the washer/dryer sit. But soon after that work was done the floor starting going soft again between the tub and toilet. A leak in the seals between the wall and tub were blamed and re-calking ensued but the problem continued and worsened and the new linoleum was soon giving way under our feet.

So it was the hot water tank all along and replacing it and the flooring under it plus cleaning up the mess made by gallons and gallons of hot water on the ground at the edge of the neighbor's driveway and shopping for the new water heater is adding a couple of days to the contractor's work and thus to our stay here.

And this is here:




The table with a bench on either side is just big enough for Ed and I to set up our computers facing each other.

It amazes me whenever I see them next to each other. My netbook is over an inch smaller than my old laptop and Ed's laptop is over an inch bigger--on both the width and length--so there is over two inches difference between our his and mine now.

See the two stacks of DVD next to the window? I think I brought more DVD than books. It intended to be consolation for leaving behind all but a smidgen of my crochet and craft materials. Plus many are due at the library in the next week. One is already overdue because I was too exhausted last night to watch it. Australia. Ed said to eat the fine through Thursday as 20 to 40 cents isn't bad to avoid waiting another three or four months for a turn.

I intend to watch it tonight it tonight as soon as I'm posted. Which would have been by now if Merline hadn't cost me half an hour or more with his shenanigans. So its going to be well after midnight before I get my post up again tonight.


Meanwhile, here's the view out the window to my left. The little green VW bug is my nieces who just got her license. She's not driving the bug yet as she and her big brother the mechanic still have a lot to do before it is road worthy.










And here is the view to my right, across the aisle and over the back of the couch.














Behind me are the steps up to the bathroom and the master bedroom. That's the foot of the bed there where the plaid blanket hangs down.

The sink is in a cubby to the right and the bathroom equipped with toilet and shower is to the left. We can't use them though as they aren't hooked up for waste disposal.














This is the view straight ahead from my seat at my temporary desk. The kitchen counter stretches across the back with the stove to the right and the sink to the left. The fridge/freezer is next to the stove with the couch the other side of it.











That view now includes this bouquet my niece brought over last night.


















Poor Merlin was not a happy camper yesterday. Here he is in the cave he found comprised of the overhang of the feather mattress at the foot of the big bed. That was actually a very dark cave as all of that light is from the flash. He did not voluntarily come out for hours and then the least little spook and he zipped back.

His nerves have had a heavy workout in the last few days. First by watching me pack. The last two times I packed bunches of stuff into bags, I left him for weeks and weeks. This past January it was a six week visit to my Mom's and a year before that a six month one.

I don't know if he was remembering that and making the connection but he was awfully itsy as I packed Sunday night. And then Monday afternoon when the contractor arrived and started banging away in the bathroom whose wall adjoins the room Merlin shares with Ed and I, he went a little nutzoid as Ed would put it. He ran from that end of the trailer into the front room with his belly nearly dragging the floor and his shoulders hunched. He was looking for a dark corner to hid in as far from that noise as possible.

That happened moments before we put the leash on him and took him out the front door and then to my MIL's car. When I set him down on the back seat so I could get the strap of the bag off my shoulder and climb in, he dashed over the back of the seats into the luggage well and looped around clambering over the seats again--and my back, and out the door onto the street.

We were traveling with him sans crate because I misplaced its gate. When I finally got seatbelted and settled with him on my lap atop my fleece blanket which he loves, he was trembling with every fiber. The ride, which include a detour past the post office, took about twenty-five minutes. He didn't stop trembling and meowing for at least five of it. And we were in the last five minutes of the drive before he relaxed enough to lay his chin over my wrist and I felt his breathing change towards slow and deep against my hand. I couldn't see his eyes but I strongly suspected they were closing.

Then we hit the gravel of the road my BIL lives on and his head popped up. And then he was put through the ordeal of the move from the car to the camper through a maze of legs both human and dog. Not cool at all.

The first time I tried to lure him out from under that bed he pulled away, looked me square in the eyes, scooted back out of reach and turned his back!!!

How much clearer could he be that he blamed me?


He ventured out the first time around dinner time.

Tentatively.















Exploring.

Sniffing in overdrive.

I could smell the dog smell in here so he must have been quite overwhelmed by it.










He approached the screen door almost eagerly at first as having a leash on usually means going out in the yard and watching the neighborhood from one of his safe spots under a porch chair or through the step rails.












But he soon realized...

















We're not in Kansas anymore.

The big black lab in the yard spotted him and set to barking which started a chorus of barking from several neighborhood dogs and squalling from the peacock in the yard across the back fence.

Ai-yi-yi.

Back to the cave he went until well after dark. He came out and joined Ed on the bed when he crashed about 9 last night.


My nerves were shot too. I am not good with transitions. The anxiety about this event began building the moment I learned of it ten days or so ago. The packing and the need to choose what to take with me and what to leave behind made me a dithering tizzy.



And my first attempt to climb back out of the camper was a close call to a fall.

Then I learned I would have to make that climb out and back in again every time I needed the bathroom. Day or night.

Day, not so bad, but night was--well--a nightmare.

The visual impairment caused from my RP takes not only all my peripheral vision but my night vision as well.

So the climb out...




...and the trek across the gravel to the corner of the house with nothing to touch to steer by...

















...followed by a safari through the dark laundry room and dark hall and back again, shredded my nerves as thoroughly as Merlin shreds every scratching post we ever got him.

And I had to do it twice between dusk and dawn. The first time in the rain! The second time after waiting through a downpour that gave the sensation of being inside a waterfall--with a screaming bladder--for twenty minutes.












But it's darkest before dawn and the noon sun chases off nightmares.

By afternoon the sun streaming through the window played havoc with my ability to see anything on my 'desk' so I lowered the blinds.










Merlin had slept against my legs and ventured out into the living area along with me. He was now willing to ogle the dogs through the window, his nerves now apparently overruled by his curiosity for he held this pose for quite some time.

Which was because...













Goliath, the Basset, was holding this pose.

And holding it. And holding it.


And holding it. And...

The first time I saw him doing this yesterday, I wondered if he had lost some of his marbles. And I don't mean the glass kind.

But it turns out that he has a feud going on with a gopher. He will sit over a gopher hole for an hour and more at a stretch.

I take the gopher is a great tease.


Eventually Merlin lost interest in Goliath and commenced to kneed the pile of blankets I had put atop our bags to protect our clean clothes and my crochet and sewing from his shedding hair and possible attempts to find a substitute litter box.










But it was for naught. For it wasn't long before he had found a way to get under. He had dug at the blankets the way Goliath dug at the gopher hole until he got under and then dug at something under there sniffing at it loud enough for me to hear three feet away. Turned out to be Ed's sweats aka PJs. Having made his nest, he settled.

I could almost hear him sigh.

Home sweet home.




I am hoping the sun will come out and dry off these lawn chairs tomorrow so we can sit out there with our books. Or I might get my crochet out. I haven't held the hook since Sunday night. Have been having some withdrawal twitching in my fingers and wrists.

But it would have to wait until we get back from going after extra clothes and several library books I can't wait until Saturday to get started on.

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Looming Library Due Dates

moar funny pictures

I have a slew of books and DVD due at the library in the next 8 days. And like an over-optimistic fool, I started a 500 page novel last night that is due tomorrow. So no time to chit-chat tonight.

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