Evolution

ROTFLOL

I found this at a site called Kiss My Floppy. There are hundreds more jokes and cartoons with computer technology themes. I went there looking for something quick to post so I could get back to work on Friday's snippet which is still not pasted into the shell I put up Friday night.

Sigh. I think the reason I chose this one to post was because I so quickly identified with the image. I am starting to feel like I've forgotten how to walk upright.

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Sunday Serenity #22

Did You Hear The One?
Fine Art Print for sale at art.com

Laughter works better than laudanum to induce serenity so today I am sharing the jokes from two emails I received recently:

25 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something,Ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, Write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Speak and Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat -
With a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play tropical sounds all day.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives,they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Whenever someone tells you about a great deal on free range eggs, you begin doing the chicken dance and singing at the top of your lungs (in the middle of the store).
21. You walk up to someone and tell them happy birthday (even when you know it isn't. In fact it's a rule that you can't tell anyone happy birthday on their actual birthday). In fact, in case I forgot to tell you all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
22. Sing in the shower
23. Make faces at yourself in the mirror
24. Listen to "crayons can melt on us for all I care" (the 10 second song) by relient k (if you haven't heard it here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFEYCTqY86g)
25. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity:
Share this with someone to make them smile and laugh.
Its called therapy.

"Of All the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"

This one's for the girls:

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: 'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'

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Thursday Thirteen #33

My mood has been in the toilet for the last twenty-four hours and I didn't want to lay it on TTers by doing my TT on what's on my mind. (See Monday and Tuesday's posts below if you're curious.) But then I remembered that as I was salvaging two years worth of email off the PC this week, I came across several old forwards. You know the ones I mean. They have some kind of story or joke or list of interesting facts, or quizzes etc. I remembered that I had seen several that I thought would lend themselves to a fun TT and thus had copy/pasted them into the Misc document along with interesting links and quotes that had been sent to me.

The files from the PC were still on the PC though and I wanted to do my TT on the laptop this week. Because I am organized to do it on there and because this week I am sure I can count on the laptop to cooperate as it's been several days since I've seen any hints of malware activity.

The PC files I wanted to back up and also to move onto the laptop were all collected into a single folder and that folder had been moved into the Shared Documents on the PC. Via the WIFI, I can access the folder from the laptop.

The folder had been ready to go since Tuesday morning just before I left to walk my ballot over to City Hall. The laptop was busy with a scan so I couldn't move it then. it was still busy when I got home and since it was already four hours past my usual bedtime, I needed to lay down. My afternoon and evening were consumed with other tasks and topics.

The laptop needed a restart when I woke up Wednesday afternoon and after I was logged onto my desktop again I started to head to the PC folder to retrieve that file but I got sidetracked exploring the laptop file tree as I looked for the place I wanted to park the PC files. I started peeking inside folders to remind myself what was there, to get an idea of what I still needed to get done to prepare them for backup. That kept me busy right up until I was called to dinner.

So the first thing I did after finishing the dishes was to head for that PC file again. This time I was ready to move it. I had never done this before so I wasn't sure what would happen. When the transfer started it was accompanied by a dialog box with a progress bar and the estimated time was three minutes. I lay down so Merlin would cuddle with me. He's not much of a lap kitty. I watched the progress bar for a time and glanced at the clock. At the three minute mark the bar was only two-thirds full. In that last couple minutes, I must have dozed off. I didn't get to start work on TT until after ten.

I had to do a major rewrite of the joke I chose to feature today as it was only a nine item list. I added and divided and shuffled a bit from the original.

Warning! Beverage spew alert!

Speaking of toilets........

Thirteen Steps To A Clean Toilet--The Fun Way: 1. Put both lids of the toilet up. 2. Add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 3. Walk through the house and yard, calling "Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty." 4. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 5. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. 6. Stand on the lid. 7. Wait as the cat self agitates making ample suds. 8. Never mind the noises coming from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 9. Flush the toilet three or four times to provide a "power-wash" and rinse. 10. Have someone open the front door of your house. 11. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 12. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 13. Watch the cat rocket out of the toilet, streak through the house, and run outside to dry himself off. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. Sincerely, The Dog Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. whenn 2. Gattina 3. Susan Helene Gottfried 4. Miss Frou Frou 5. Mz Jackson 6. samulli 7. Fence 8. L^2 9. Mercy's Maid 10. Dana 11. Toni 12. Tink 13. Nicole 14. Rhian / Crowwoman (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)

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