The Last Supper

Salmon Steak on Bed of Romaine Lettuce with Mandarin Orange Slices and Sunflower Seeds and Honey Mustard and Lemon Dressing

This was the Salmon plate Ed made and served me last Wednesday.  One of the things I'm going to miss most about not living with him is his cooking and especially these salmon platters he make me on the nights he wants hot dogs.  They are never exactly the same twice.  He might use something already on hand or he might shop special for a flavor combo.  This one was the former and it was excellent.  He made the dressing himself too.

One of my favorites is when he substitutes jicama for the lettuce and uses two or three of the following fruits: passion fruit, mango, papaya and/or peach.  Another one I like is spinach with tomato and avocado.

His cooking is on my mind tonight because we just used the last of the spaghetti sauce from the dinner he made for me and Carri before she left me there for a week.  We had frozen the leftovers down and he sent them home with us.

He also sent the leftover burrito makings from our last meal together last Thursday night.  He makes burritos by mixing the refried beans, meat, garlic, onions, bell pepper and occasionally precooked rice all into one large pan then setting up a salad bar type thing for the tomatoes,  salsa, shredded cheese, sour cream, avocado, green onion and olives.  We finished up the burrito stuff here Tuesday evening.  Ed had not added rice this time but Carri stretched the leftovers for the four of us by adding it herself.

I had been making a point of joining the family here for the evening meal most days but as I dished up my spaghetti tonight I knew I needed to be alone with it to savor it and think about him and, yes, cry if I wanted to.  So I took my plate in to the room that has become my hangout--combination office, workout room and closet.  I sat on the mini-tramp which is where I've spent the majority of my waking hours since Monday.

I was realizing that I needed to do something to snap out of my funk soon and as I ate the concept of comfort food crossed my mind and instantly translated into the idea of comfort activities.  I started listing some of the things that I like to do with the intent to start adding them back.  Starting with the tramp workouts which I've not done once since leaving Phoenix last Friday and I had been on the tramp down there for one to two hours every day and that was on top of the walk to the library.

Speaking of library visits.  That went on the list and I've asked Carri if we can fit one in this weekend as she is going to be without the car all next week while it is having the driver side door and mirror repaired from her encounter with a pole in a parking lot the week before we left.  We are going to try.

There were quite a number of things that ended up on my list but I guess I will save the rest for when they actually happen.

I've given myself one solid week to mope and wallow.  It is time to reengage with the NOW, with what IS.  Baby steps tho.  I"m sure it isn't going to be like flipping a switch.