Monday, August 27, 2007

Monday Poetry Train #14

I'm going to drop this one without much comment since I'm so late getting it posted. I've always considered this a companion piece to my poem Remembering Dandelions which was a Poetry Train presentation several weeks ago. Probably because they both feature dandelions and memories from pre five-year-old childhood.

Summer Saturday Naps
by Joy Renee


Beyond my world beat and brass
Drumming corps with many feet
They practice marching
Off to war.

Dragon growls and chomps the grass
Browsing dandelion seas--
Daddy following
In its wake.

Kitchen sounds of water-hiss
Mixing juice and batters sweet
Timer tick telling
Mama, “Wait.”

Sun on window sash and glass
Spinning stories into dreams
Bright shadows sliding
Down the wall.

8 tell me a story:

Susan Helene Gottfried 8/27/2007 5:11 PM  

Really neat images, Joy Renee, but I think I'm missing out on the big picture here. I'm such a loser at these things...

Christine 8/27/2007 5:53 PM  

I like the language and sounds of the 3rd verse:

Kitchen sounds of water-hiss and the timer telling Mama,"wait" - funny, b/c it's often adults telling children to have patience.

My prose is up too.

Rhian / Crowwoman 8/27/2007 6:10 PM  

oh i loved this: "Dragon growls and chomps the grass
Browsing dandelion seas--
Daddy following
In its wake."
it speaks so clearly of the magic of childhood.

julia 8/27/2007 6:16 PM  

Really wonderful Joy Renee! Here's my favorite:
"Sun on window sash and glass
Spinning stories into dreams
Bright shadows sliding
Down the wall"
How I used to stare at those same shadows as I didn't nap.

Lisa Andel 8/27/2007 6:37 PM  

Woot! I think I get this one about childhood memories. Maybe. I like the lines that Rhian pointed out. I never thought much about dragons back then but I caught the image right away now.

gautami tripathy 8/27/2007 7:00 PM  

Took it back on childhood memories. Very neat and uncluttered. I loved it.

Ann 8/27/2007 7:32 PM  

Very cool poem, Joy Renee. Lovely images.
P.S. Hope you're feeling better.

Bri 8/28/2007 2:02 PM  

How lovely! I love the image of dandelion seas and "wake" with the mention of "dad" - it makes him seem like a ship, or some other epic presence in the poem. :)

I remember my dad - who is really of average height - towering over me like some awesome giant. I also loved the line about the light through the glass and the window curtain. Very beautiful and vivid.

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