Only If

"Enya: Only If..."

When there's a shadow, you reach for the sun.
When there is love, then you look for the one.
And for the promises, there is this land.
And for the heavens are those who can fly.
Chorus:
If you really want to, you can hear me say
Only if you want to will you find a way.
If you really want to you can seize the day.
Only if you want to will you fly away.

Da da da da, da da da da da.
da da da da, da da da da da,
da da da da.


When there's a journey, you follow a star.
When there's an ocean, you sail from afar.
And for the broken heart, there is the sky.
And for tomorrow are those who can fly.

Chorus
Da da da da, da da da da da.
da da da da, da da da da da,
da da da da.

Ooh go doe bay mwa.
Ooh go doe bay mwa.

Chorus

Ah! Je voudrai voler comme un oiseau d'aile
Ah! Je voudrai voler comme un oiseau d'aile,
d'aile...

Ooh go doe bay mwa.
Ooh go doe bay mwa.

Chorus


If you really want to you can seize the day.
Only if you want to will you fly away.

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I've spent most of my spare time since I prepared my Sunday Serenity post Saturday night listening to and watching Enya videos on YouTube. I'm posting this one because the song, Only If, became my personal anthem right around this time of the year in 1997.

My sister-friend, Jamie, had given my a CD with two Enya songs on it, this one and Silent Night. I had just turned forty. I felt stuck in my life. Things seemed to be falling apart. I listened to this song over and over and began to believe again.

In the following months I began to do things that made huge positive changes in my life. I began writing poetry. Many of the poems I've posted on Monday Poetry Train were from the next two years. It was the following spring when I finished the 16,000 word short story, Making Rag Doll Babies and Million Dollar Maybes, including the lyrics to the song of the same title which I wrote for one of its characters. I started doing things to take care of myself physically and emotionally. I began a daily walk even though the only safe place to do it was the driveway. I let my Panic/Anxiety and Depression support group talk me into allowing the doctors to treat my mood disorder with meds.

I am posting this today not just because of nostalgia though. I am finding myself in a similar frame of mind as I was that winter when it had such a major impact. I am feeling stuck. Things are chaotic in my life. In my mind, in my room and in my days. All of this is on my mind because Jamie asked me in late November to be her partner over the next year in a project she calls Creative Change. We, each of us, are our own projects while being the cheerleader, encourager and accountability partner for the other.

Jamie made her list of intentions for the year a month ago. I'm still working on mine. I know several of the ones I am ready to commit to. And I know several more which I know I should commit to but am balking. That is the post I am preparing for tomorrow. New Year's Eve.