Sunday Serenity #333

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I had a near perfect day!!

Not because anything special happened.  But because I woke up in a good mood and sustained it all day.

I was productive.  I had no meltdowns nor did I get stuck and hyperfocus on a thought or project.  I was able to change mental channels repeatedly and appropriately.

Anxiety was very low again and frustrations were manageable.  And not because they were minimal but because I was coping.

I found happy several times.

To what do I attribute this?

Sleep.

I got a solid 8 hours with no wake-ups that I consciously remember.  That is so rare I didn't think it was possible.

This was a direct result if getting back on the Metoprolol regimen that got interrupted last week when I had not renewed in time, did not discover that until after the clinic had closed last Friday, then played phone tag with the clinic on Monday and Tuesday.

That led to the return of the insomnia and the anxiety and two major meltdowns on Wednesday evening and Thursday evening, a lot of hyperfocusing and abandonment of workouts and and and...

I'm not sorry that all happened tho as now I know the importance of the Metoprolol for the mood issue.  It has been my BP med for several years and I had not realized the role it played in keeping anxiety at bay and the role that played in getting quality sleep.

I'd been giving all credit for the recent progress to the new Trazadone regimen instituted almost two months ago when the med nurse repurposed it from an occasional sleep aide to the official anti-depressant.  So I'm glad this happened and just in time so that I can share that insight with her tomorrow.

Many significant things resulted from that good sleep and maybe the most significant of all was that less than twenty minutes after I got up I was cooking my breakfast and it was completely improvisational.  This is significant because I have always had difficulty waking up after sleeping more than six hours.  I usually feel like a zombie.  My brain often won't light up for over ten hours.

I wouldn't say it was lit up that soon this morning but it was definitely not mush.  I doubt I could have done math or major problem solving or creative work.  But on the other hand frying two eggs sunny-side up using the bacon drippings my sister had left on the counter and creating half a toasted cheese sandwich to go with them by laying the slice of bread in skillet, putting cheese on it and then folding it in half when the cheese started melting was itself creative problem solving since it was all a brand new thing I made up as I went.  I would not have been nearly as surprised if it had been a bowl of hot or cold cereal either of which I can probably do sleepwalking since all the steps are well worn ruts of routine.

Among the productive things done today:

• an hour reading a novel--sustained reading has been difficult for nearly a year now
• three chats and a Skype session with my husband that, among other things, were brainstorming sessions on how to move things along to meet the criteria that allows us to end this separation--defining roles, responsibilities and listing possible solutions.
• an hour workout on the mini-tramp that rose to vigorous three separate times for two to three minutes
• finished sewing the buttons on a blouse for my sister--a project I began for her the week before Easter and got sidetracked
• emptied the sink into the dishwasher
• input all my health clinic appointments into my Google calendar--I'd been depending on my sister and her PIM but it is time to step up and take responsibility for it myself

To top off an already excellent day, my sister has loaned me her camera to use for my blogging and the self-pub and other business concepts I have in the works--ebook covers,  pictures of the crocheted items for a catalog and the ebook patterns, graphics on the new webpage Ed is building for the business as just a few examples. .  Mine has been giving me fits for months and the quality of pictures had deteriorated.  I can't wait to start using it but I need to read the manual and I'm going to wait until tomorrow as I have a few other things still on today's agenda that are time sensitive.