Bug Fighting Of Another Stripe

Couldn't figure out what was going on with me ever since Saturday afternoon. I fought what I call nap-attacks all day Saturday--the irresistible need to give into sleep. For someone whose usual complaint is insomnia, it is disconcerting when this happens. I kept whipping myself with guilt and shame, accusing myself of trying to get out of finishing the backup project, of giving into boredom rather than stay committed to the respect for my work which I have been blogging about for the past two weeks.

I fought the need with extra caffeine and frequent walk-abouts the house and yard on Saturday. I especially hated to give up one single hour of race-day Saturday. The one day of the week during dirt track race season when I have unfettered access to the whole house and yard and can have my work station in the living room beside the PC and keep both computers active with separate but equal projects. All this while doing laundry, hanging with Sweetie, my in-law's Australian Shepard/Border Collie, playing music of my taste at my volume, etc. etc. All those things that those of you who live in your own homes probably take for granted.

But even though I could have continued working at both computers while having the luxury of sitting in an office chair instead of the edge of the bed right on through to seven or eight Sunday morning, I gave up just before eleven. Even before my husband and his Mom got home from the races. I was already moved back into the bedroom and working at getting both Saturday's and Sunday's posts up when they got home and ready to have my light out and close the laptop lid within minutes after my husband had started snoring.

This especially frustrated me in light of the fact that I had slept most of the hours between dinner Friday evening and noon Saturday.

I slept until seven-thirty Sunday morning. Was feeling much better and ambitious but was up against the fact that my laptop was in need of a restart which takes nearly half an hour to complete. And then the AVG daily scan starts at eight and lasts until ten.

So I used those hours to hang out with my husband and discuss plans for a total revamp of my other two web sites with an addition of another we have been planning to add to the mix. This discussion got him enthused about experimenting with graphics programs for use in that project and, with my blessing, he took over the laptop as soon as the scan was done. I looked over his shoulder for the next four hours. It wasn't time wasted. I learned a lot and the two of us got somewhat synchronized as to taste and tactics for the upcoming project.

A project which I am forbidding myself to start working on until I get my files backed up. I know myself too well. I tend to hyper-focus on a single thing until my attention gets dragged to another thing. I have been forced on multiple occasions to drag my focus back to the need to organize and back up my personal files only to have my attention dragged away before the project is completed. This last scare, invoked by the malware attack was alarming enough that memories of it are helping to keep me goaded toward the goal this time. Even though it was tempting to relax when my husband decided that it probably wasn't going to be necessary to reformat the hard drive after all.

When my husband quit working on the laptop about three-thirty Sunday afternoon, did I grab it up and get busy once again with harvesting my email off the AOL software, the last of the sub-tasks before the files are ready to be bundled for backup? No. I gave into the nap attack I'd been fighting for the last hour or so of his goofing around with graphics and WYSIWYG and databases etc. He quit only because he was slated to help with a BBQ. He had to call me for dinner at six. I crashed again as soon as the dishes were done.

And slept until seven Monday morning. Most of twelve hours. I woke with the hint of a sore throat, but blamed it on snoring and dehydration. But by afternoon, I had a stiff neck just like the one I had when I had mono the week I turned seventeen and which plagues me with every bug my body fights to this day. So the mystery was solved. I wasn't lacking in character re the commitment to the backup project and thus to respect for my work. I was fighting a bug and should be grateful that the usual insomnia was not preventing me from getting the healing rest my body needed for the fight.

I crashed again after dinner this evening and woke at eleven in a fever sweat. Which explains the blurred vision aggravating everything else over the last couple of days. I had suspected a low grade fever a couple of times Sunday and Monday but could not confirm it as I have not replaced the mercury thermometer I busted over my cat, Gremlin's, head in the summer of 2005 when she leapt into my lap as I was shaking it down.

I guess I can give myself a break from the self-flagellation. But I have to figure out how to do that and maintain my commitment and focus on the backup project. These are exactly the kinds of distractions that can drag my attention away from important projects indefinitely.

It helps that I put this project into a task manager which started alerting me about the Saturday deadline at midnight Friday morning and keeps popping up with reminders at every boot up and every midnight and other occasions that seem random but probably aren't. I could get rid of the annoyance by clicking 'clear' the next time it pops up. But I won't. I am sooooo close to the finish line.