Friday, February 08, 2013

Book Review: Before You Say i Do Again by Benjamin H. Berkley

Before You Say i Do Again
by Benjamin H. Berkley
Publisher: Frederick Fell Trade - September 15, 2009
240 pages

Written by a lawyer with decades of experience as a divorce lawyer, this book is loaded with important information that anyone contemplating remarriage after one or more divorces, or marriage to someone who has been married before needs to know.  He talks about the statistics regarding the failure rate of second, third and beyond marriages and how the danger signs are almost always there before the vows are exchanged if you are willing to take off the rose-colored glasses and look clearly at them.

Berkley also discusses the legal, emotional and financial fallout of divorce and how that fallout continues to fall all over subsequent marriages: alimony, child support, blended families, merging of income, expense, debt, property etc.  He includes lots of questions to ask yourself and your intended to make sure you are all on the same page on all aspects of your legal, emotional and financial circumstance.  The fewer surprises in these realms later the better chance of a successful marriage.

Truth is more first marriages would have a better chance of succeeding if the individuals considered all of the information gathered in this book and more marriages doomed from the start could be avoided entirely by those willing to look before they leap and see the rocks at the foot of the cliff for what they are and not the fluffy pillow clouds at cupids feet.

From the Publishers:

Learning from the mistakes of a failed first marriage and telling yourself you will do better the next time around is like saying if you lose a football game you'll win the next one.  You will but only if you learn some new plays before you go back on the field.  Presented   by an attorney who has seen all the warning signs, "BEFORE YOU SAY I DO, AGAIN!" will teach those new plays to avoid coming up on the losing side again.

Note, book shelves are filled with warm and fuzzy titles authored by psychologists and family counselors.  Their message is to teach how to listen to each other and improve the relationship.  "BEFORE YOU SAY I DO, AGAIN!"is not a how to book to get back together or to stay together.  Instead it takes the gloves off and provides insight as to the issues one must consider before walking down the aisle a second time.  Tackling a serious subject, but presented in a sometimes whimsical fashion, "BEFORE YOU SAY I DO, AGAIN!" puts the brakes on the wedding ceremony and provides the reader with the questions that must be answered before she drives down the path of destruction.

In addition,   it provides information regarding the legal consequences of a failed second marriage. "BEFORE YOU SAY I DO, AGAIN!" is a "tell it is like it is guide"   to avoid an impending disaster.

What they are saying: 

"According to Psychology Today, 60% of remarriages fail. What are the reasons? Why do people believe that whatever went wrong the first time won't happen again?  Have you gone through a divorce, found a new partner and are considering remarrying? Perhaps you're afraid of making the same mistake twice and are thinking of living together first? Do you wonder if you're doing the right thing?  Before You Say I Do, Again answers these important questions, and much more. Written by a divorce attorney with over 30 years of experience, the book is filled with insightful information, practical advice and statistics supported by research studies.  Besides being chock-full of information, author/attorney Benjamin Berkley writes in a simple, light, engaging style, making the reading experience enjoyable. The structure is clear and well organized. Best of all, it is written by someone who really knows what he's talking about. If you or someone in your life is considering remarrying, please do yourself a favour and get a copy of this book. It is definitely an eye opener." Mayra Calvani, BlogCritic Books

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. "Before You Say I Do Again: A Buyer's Beware Guide to Remarriage" is aimed at those who may be taking the dive into marriage the second time and want to be legally prepared this time around. Written from an attorney's perspective, he offers much advice people should know the second time around to see if you're truly ready to do it again. "Before You Say I Do Again" is a solid and highly recommended read that'll educate and make many people reconsider." Midwest Book Review

"Here's helpful advice from an attorney, packaged in a readable, insightful new book! Even if you've already remarried, you may gain valuable tips here that can help you construct, or re-construct, the legal details of your new marriage.  Divorced? Dating? Considering a new marriage? Pick up this book and read it carefully. You'll be glad you did." Dr. David Frisbie, The Center for Marriage & Family Studies

Benjamin Berkley is the author of four self-help books:  "My Wishes, Your Plan for Organizing Your Family's Needs" (Sourcebooks, June, 2006)   "The Complete Executor's Guide" (Sourcebooks, June 2007)   "Winning Your Social Security Disability Case" (Sourcebooks, February, 2008) and "Before You Say I Do Again, A Buyer's Beware Guide to Remarriage." (Frederick Fell Publishers, September, 2009). "Against My Will" is Benjamin Berkley's fifth book and debut novel.

And though writing is his passion, for over 34 years he has conducted a busy law practice in which he has seen many interesting clients come through his door.  One in particular, an older woman with white hair, the kindest smile, and an amazing story became the inspiration for one of his characters for "Against My Will."   Berkley lives in southern California with his wife Phyllis and their cat Riley.   He has two grown children and is always bragging about his most beautiful grandson and granddaughter.

Follow the blog tour for more reviews, giveaways, author interviews and guest posts:

2 tell me a story:

Teddy Rose 2/09/2013 12:05 AM  

Thanks for taking part in the tour. I'm glad you enjoyed Before You Say I Do!

Teena in Toronto 2/25/2013 6:07 AM  

Good to read before you walk down the aisle again.

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