Yaaaay!!!

Am back on my laptop. My husband had it powered up again by noon. I didn't claim it again until after four though. Between the need for more sleep and wanting to reward him for his efforts with a few hours of its use, I rolled back over and went back to sleep after witnessing the power light on the front light back up again.

I am so grateful to be back on the familiar territory of my keyboard and files and desktop preferences. The PC was once familiar territory and I could have once again gotten used to the clunky, oversized keyboard. I could have moved all my files, including my browser bookmarks and reconfigured my old personal desktop on the PC to accommodate my visual impairment with larger fonts and higher contrasting colors than the family uses on its desktop. I could have and I was prepared to if it had become necessary.

I had talked myself out of the initial urge to roll over and play dead for the seeming inexorable series of misfortunes--loosing my fur baby, Gremlin, companion of fourteen years; loss of access to the library; my husband's grandmother's fast failing health; severe money stresses; a number of health issues, including vision, which have taken slides recently; breaking the ear piece off my reading glasses and damaging their lenses somehow which permanently fogged them--I could go on. Suffice it to say that it has been a daily struggle to stay committed to the vision I have for my writing and the web presence intended to give it an audience. The loss of the power cord Wednesday night was especially frustrating as at first it seemed insurmountable. My first reaction had been panic followed by temptation to despair. But I managed to resist the the lure of despair, a once too familiar companion.

I had developed contingency plans and begun to envision adapting to the new situation. It was heartening to discover that the habits of commitment to my writing which I had been developing since January 2004 had taken strong enough root to resist the old tendency to fold at the first sign of adversity.