Wardrobe Malfunction

My Library and My Closet

My side of the bed in Mom's room is a never ending chore.  About once a month I get fed up and do a major re-organize that addresses whatever issues I was blaming the disorder on and I think 'This time I'll keep it this way!'

But no.

It occurs to me there are just some issues that can't be fixed by rearranging stuff.

One of them is the fact that during the day I can't see anything but dark shadows backlit by window light.

While the evenings are taken up by dinner and reading to Mom before she goes to bed.

So that leaves the weekends when Mom is at my brother's to address it.  Whether that means putting away the clean clothes laid willy-nilly during the week and those disarranged by rummaging for outfits or a complete reorganizing like it needs now.  Just one of a gazillion tasks that jostle for attention between Friday afternoon and Sunday evening.

The state it is in now is partly explained by my having unpacked the winter clothes from the big duffle that was supporting the boxes on the purple chair just before Christmas.  Not only is the duffle not plump enough to support the boxes I've not got around to packing up the summer clothes so there's more stuff to shuffle.

Another issue that can't be fixed by rearranging the stuff is the fact that 50% or more of it is too big for me now and needs to be purged...  All the 2x and 3x  and sizes 20 to 24 need to go or be altered.  And even certain cuts and styles of 1x and 18s.  Also the size 8.5 - 9 shoes.

But that's an issue that goes deeper than a simple organization task.  I'm emotionally attached to every item.  It's going to take more than a weekend to deal with that.

But if I did purge all that maybe I could have the purple chair back as a reading chair again.  Could that be motivation enough?

Maybe.

But iffy.

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Sunday Serenity

Bradley's Not Too Sure About This Thing

 Bradley joined in on my quiet afternoon of reading ebooks and organizing ebook files and metadata on three devices--Blaze, Nexus and Aspire.    He'd been nudging my hand holding the Blaze up to the Nexus camera, jostling my shots.  Then one of my alarms went off.

He backed off and crouched like he was guarding a mouse hole with a lion inside.

I also had to do some maintenance with the Blaze as it was screaming about low memory after I reinstalled Amazon and MoonReader Pro and several other aps that had been on the sd card that died a couple weeks ago, crashing the phone and taking to its grave the over 200 photos stored on it.  Along with the dozens of ebooks and half a dozen audio files.  And the aps.

Those were all just copies of files safe on other devices or in the cloud.  The original before edit photos taken with the Blaze had not been.  At least not by me.  I discovered later that most of them had been backed up by Google and/or Picasa but there were over a dozen missing--pictures of the bookmarks I gave my Aunt and cousin when they visited in October, a series of pictures taken as I repaired the hole in the afghan Mom crocheted as a teenager, some of the pics from the beach, some from the box sort project in the basement, some from my split chin, some from the run on the dike with my cousin's wife.

I had blog posts in progress waiting for me to edit the pictures and upload them.

The Entertainment Desktop
on My Blaze

As you can see I have six book aps and no games.  I find the screen too small to enjoy games.

My MoonReader Bookshelf

In the pic at top the Blaze is showing the Kindle bookshelf.  I found some of the memory I needed to allow backups again and a reinstall of Chrome by removing dozens (hundred+?) of books from the Kindle and GDrive 'keep on device' files which apparently aren't stored on the sd card.

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Winding Up to Wind Down

For this pic I have the corkboard balanced on the stool alone to reveal the balls of thread and skeins of yarn waiting to be wound.  I find winding them a very soothing activity which works well with storydreaming, praying, listening to audio books or watching videos.  Or thinking about WIP or future WIP.

Less than half of the yarn and thread in that box is visible as the box goes back nearly a foot more.  As soon as the pic was taken I moved the corkboard back in place and then there is only a 4x4 inch square in the left corner where the item(s) being wound are accessible.

That's where the bulk of my December Joanne.com order went to.  There is more yarn in a large bag under the card table and then there is the yarn I got on my birthday and the yarn I got on Mom's birthday...

So I have many hours of serene winding to do.

I love handling the thread and yarn.  It makes me happy.

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Time and Space

The crafter's tote spread across my workstation

Bradley wants to help.

A shortage of time and space is still a factor in making progress on the crafter's tote that was supposed to have been my sister-in-law's Christmas gift in 2012.  Two years late!!

I really thought I was going to make it for Christmas 2014 when I finished the Mobius strip in late September.  But I ran into another engineering problem in November that took me several weeks to (maybe) solve.  The solution entailed shopping for supplies, including online which order did not arrive until ten days before Christmas.

I'd already set it aside to focus on the Christmas gifts I could get done for local family once it became obvious I could not get it in the mail in time to reach the Rogue Valley before Christmas.

Last summer I rearranged this room again (an endless project itself) to make room to set up the card table so I'd have room to spread the tote panels out to work on them and to assemble them with the Mobius strip into the bag.

But then I unpacked the rest of my craft and sewing supplies which were still in the boxes I'd packed when moving out of our trailer spring of 2013.  A necessity since all my holiday supplies where among them.  I'm still have trouble finding homes for everything without resorting to piling the card table high with whatever is not in use that moment.

The big Joanne.com order in December and the several craft shopping sprees between my birthday in November and Mom's birthday January 3rd added to the problem.

*sigh*

It's only when Mom spends the weekend with my brother's family in Portland that I can clear the card table by piling stuff on her side of the bed.  She leaves Friday afternoon and returns on Sunday evening.

That is also the only time I can work on the big sort and organize project in this room, the bedroom and down in the basement.  A project which competes for urgency with the tote as it's not only for making daily life easier while I'm here at Mom's but to make moving and setting up my own household easier when the time comes.

So its a tradeoff.

This weekend I'm working on the tote.  Which will mostly mean getting reacquainted with it after a month's hiatus.

The active project surface has been this corkboard set across the edge of a box and a stool.  Bradley knocked it off twice and I once.  All three times it was loaded and spilled thread, hooks, needles, pins, buttons, beads, ribbon, pattern pages, notes, threaders, thimbles, scissors, measuring tape....

...and whatever WIP(s) were on it.

The time I knocked it off the corner landed on my toe.

I solved the problem by giving up leg room to move the stool to the front right corner.

The corkboard is covered with microfiber pads for blocking projects off the hook.  The picture of the puppy and kitten is a laminated card I use when working with glue or tape.  The stack of candy boxes are trays containing small projects or materials and tools. There's another stack of larger trays behind that one.

The box under that end of the board used to contain materials, tools and small projects but it was a hassle getting into it so I stuffed it full of yarn and thread not on the hook which needs to be wound before use.  That's what's happening to that ball of yarn on the corner.

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Ribbon Running Wild

Ribbon Running Wild

This is the mess I made of my ribbon between Halloween and January 3rd (Mom's bday)

The Ribbon Corral

The solution?  I hope so.  I'm so tired of rolling all that ribbon back on the spools.

Now all I need is to find time to do it one more time and organize the six spindles...

That will be a joyous moment as then when I need a ten inch length of one color for a simple bookmark it will be a ten second task.  And one that doesn't involve chasing a spool of ribbon across the floor or under the mini-tramp.

Or fighting Bradley for it.


This ribbon storage was one of the items in my BIG Joann.com Cyber Monday week order.  Can you believe I forgot to get a picture of that order and everything in it before I put it all away?  First time since I started blogging fiber art that I didn't make a post production out of it.

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It's In the Bag(s)

Craft Bag Facelift

 I had this idea over a year ago and finally just got fed up with waiting for the 'right' time to do it.

The time was now.  It fits the theme of my year.

The bag was one my Mom gave me years ago--because it was blue.  She got it while working with the RSVP senior service group--one of her many 'alphabet soup' associations.  Alphabet soup was my affectionate nickname for the committees, support groups, governor's councils and a variety of other volunteer activities she was involved in from the mid 1980s  right up until her stroke in 2008.  

Now I want it to represent my 2015 focus on getting things done.

And of course that One Word.

Five cheers and three high-fives for anybody who can guess what the missing three letters are.

And a triple kowtow for anyone spotting the triple pun.

Hint: there is also a punctuation mark missing

The Materials

 7 stitches to the inch plastic canvas
white parashute cord for the background
metalic blue nylon blend cord for the rim
neon aqua nylon twine

It was all stuff I already had.  If I'd had to buy something for it I might not have got started on it now.

Frayed

The nylon twine was something I picked up at the Dollar Tree over a year ago thinking it might be fun to crochet with.  It was on the hardware aisle among the tapes and glues and bungee cords.

Working with it has some issues tho.  It frays after enough times forcing through the holes doubled over in the eye of a needle.  I can alleviate that by using shorter strands.  The strand I worked the 's' with was over a yard long.

Then there was the pain in my fingers from pushing and pulling and twisting that needle to get it through.  Until I figured out that if I could firm up the end with tape or glue I didn't need a needle any more than you'd need a needle to lace your shoes.  Same was true of the other two cords.  Goodbye needle.  Goodbye 90% of the frustration with the first day's work.

Except the tape and glue have to be re-applied frequently and they taste terrible when I forget and put the end in my mouth.

I'm wondering if melting them with a match might work better.  But I'm not sure I trust myself to do it.  Especially not in the house around all this fiber and paper.

Or maybe an iron?

I decided it was time to stop depriving myself of the nice things I designed for myself.  It was meant to be motivation for getting the gift items done first--especially that one Secret Santa project that is now two years past due!.

But there are always going to be gift items on the hook and another gifting occasion on the horizon.

I think it is possible to do both.

Meanwhile, I'm working on a slideshow of all the fiber art WIP.  I might split it in two--Joy for Joy and Joy in giving.

Any idea what's 'in the bag(s)'?  i.e. what the post title refers to?

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Indulging Joy

It Was Calling My Name

There was a jewelry display case next to the register at the restaurant where my sister and I ate after our nutrition class in Battleground Washingtion Tuesday evening.  We were admiring the many pretty things many of them handmade.  Most of them outside our price range for such not needful things.  But one wasn't.

I'd been complaining recently that I needed accessories in colors other than blue.  I especially have an abundance of auqua/turquoise/teal shades in my small collection.  In my wardrobe as well.  Pretty much all through my belongings.

I definitely didn't need this one.

But I could almost hear it begging me to take it home.  I knew if I walked away I would think about it all night.

So I indulged.

One Word 365

After consideration over the next day or two I decided that, in the spirit of the One Word 365 campaign which I joined at the first of the month, I needed to indulge more often.  Not necessarily by buying jewelry and other frivolities but by treating myself occasionally; by finishing (and starting) fiber art projects intended for myself; by pampering myself a little; by finding ways to get to some of the places I like to go instead of holing up at home because I don't want to be a bother.

I chose the word 'joy' for my 2015 focus at One Word 365.  This social network for those wanting an alternative to New Year's resolutions encourages you to pick a word that represents that which you wish to increase in your life and commit to looking for ways every day to incorporate it.

No major efforts, grand projects  or other life upheavals are necessary.  Small efforts exerted daily add up to big changes in a year's time.  Or so the theory goes.  Just contemplating that word and its significance to you is enough as such focus tends to invite in whatever you are devoting thought to.

One thing such focus is guaranteed to accomplish is an accumulation of better choices as you are drawn to make the choice most likely to increase whatever you have made your theme for the year.

I chose 'joy' because I lost mine last summer--mood disorder? lifequake? death of our fur baby, Merlin?  Who knows?  Does it matter?

With the word choice I intended the pun on my name as I was loosing myself as well. Probably part and parcel of regaining joy is bundled in with the same things necessary for regaining Joy Renee--taking care of myself, healthy choices, occasional indulgences.

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Joy Is: Getting Things Done

I spent hours over several days preparing the list and slideshow so I'll just let them do all the talking.

List of fiber art projects finished between r Sept 1 2014 and January 3, 2015:

1. finished 8ft x 11in Mobius strip for Sara's quilter's tote--my 2012 Secret Santa now over 2 years late.

2. right fingerless glove for ed for bday

3. left fingerless glove for ed for bday

4. beanie hat for ed for bday--began three items five days before bday and finished five days after but mailed four weeks late to include D's 2013 xmas gift

5. finished rooster filet begun a year ago for D's bag--my 2013 secret santa gift. sent 10 mo late

6. crocheted rectangle for wallet for D's bag

7. crocheted wrist band for wallet for D's bag

8. tucked tails, blocked and dressed wallet

9. sewed beads onto lime cotton shopping bag to mount  rooster fillet so can be washed separately.

10. crocheted silk mesh belt for Carri

11. crocheted silk tie-string for Carri's silk belt--on of two

12. crocheted silk i-cord for Carri's silk belt 

13. crocheted silk I-cord for Carri's silk belt

14. crocheted silk i-cord for bracelet

15. crocheted yellow cotton size 10  i-cord for bracelet

16. crocheted black cotton size 3  I-cord belt for Carri

17. crocheted nylon size 20 sequined turquoise bling strand for Carri's  I-cord belt for Xmas

18. crocheted metalic purple bling strand for Carri's I-cord belt for Xmas

19. crocheted metalic midnight blend bling strand for Carri's  I-cord belt for xmas

20. crocheted purple heart square for Carri's bean bag cover

21. crocheted lavender seed stitch square for Carri's microwavable bean bag cover 

22. crocheted purple dc square for Carri's bean bag cover

23. tucked tails, blocked and crocheted cover onto bean bag for Carri's  bday--3'.5 mo late

24. tucked tails and dressed lavender bow barrette for mom's  Xmas eve

25. crocheted last row, tucked tails and dressed blue flower barrette for mom's bday

26. tucked tails and dressed blue bow barrette for Mom's bday

27. crocheted navy cotton size 20 thread slip stitch ribbon for Mom's flower bead necklace for bday

28. crocheted bow tie stitch band for bracelet for Mom's bday

29. tucked tails and dressed bow tie stitch band for mom's bracelet, using a vintage button from her collection

30. crocheted second half of puff stitch square for Jamie's mug rug for Xmas

31. tucked tails and blocked Jamie's mug rug

32. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Mom's Xmas eve

33. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri's Xmas eve

34. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for aunt M

35. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for cousin H

36. crocheted lavender dish rag for Carri's Xmas eve

37. crocheted nylon cup cozy for L's Xmas

38. crocheted bookmark for Carri from Bernet size 5 polyester thread she gave me for Xmas eve

39. designed and created a wrap-around bookmark for Carri out of a previously crocheted band

40. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

41. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

42. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

43. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

44. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

45. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

46. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

47. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

48. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

49. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for Carri

50. repaired red square on Mom's wool granny afghan--made for her parents when she was a teenager

51. crocheted variegated filet square with the new Bernet size 5 for tray pad for Mom (may end up as dish rag for Carri if i can't get it to lay flat)

52. sewed six butterfly sequins and band of pink metalic thread on ribbon hanger for Be Still and Know picture for Jamie's Xmas

53. crocheted snowflake with size 30 cotton

54. tucked tails, blocked and dressed bookmark for myself--sampler of the baby afghan i made for my grand-nephew three years ago

55. Fixed a frayed cord belt for Carri

56. created a bracelet for mom out of a length of braid made by her grand-daughter years ago

57. constructed Sara's crafter's tote from two panels and mobius strip by securing edges with twist ties, clips and string.  Discovered significant design flaws.  worked them out (I hope) bought materials for fix,  mapped fixes on graph paper

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Sunday Serenity

Longview Dike

I took this picture when I went running on the dike last June.  I'm dreaming of running again.  Running was once one of my greatest joys.

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Baby Steps - ROW80 Check-In

Baby Steps

May not look like much but right now baby steps are cause for celebration.

My Round 1 intentions: seek to regain my joy/Joy in writing and to prepare the soil for its blooming with these time investment goals:

• Storydreaming 15min Daily (I never lost this one since instating it in my first round in 2012.  A ROW80 win!) 100%
• Read/Study Craft 15min Daily 100% (reading blog posts on topic)
• Move/Breathe/Meditate 15min Daily 0%
• Personal Journaling 15min Daily 0%
• Read Fiction 30min Daily 50%
• Social network activities 30min Daily (writing Joystory posts doesn't count only social reaching out like reading/commenting on other blogs, guest posts and posting to fb, twitter, pinterest etc) 100% [writing this comment, posting to ROW80 fb and replying to comments there are among the activities I engaged in.]

It occurred to me that one of the reasons I'm having trouble engaging with my fiction writing is the level of drama in my own life right now and my difficulty in disengaging from it.  Not sure what, if anything, can be done about that.  Apparently the lifequake of January 2013 is not done rocking my world and crashing my life into rubble.   Maybe I'd do better with poems right now.

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Friday Forays in Fiction: Writer Tics

As part of the prep for my NaNo novel last September, I started streaming Star Trek episodes on Netflix and Amazon.  I started with Enterprise as I wanted to watch in the order of the story's timeline.  I'm now in the last half of the final season of Voyager.

The point was to prime my consciousness with as much of the info as possible as well as with the immediacy of immersion so that I could begin to think with my character's mind.  She was a dedicated obsessive fan(atical), teen who know all the episodes of all the series, including the animated, as well as all the movies by heart.  Even some of the novels.  She was a walking encyclopedia of Star Trek trivia, hung out in online fan forums, played Star Trek RPG, wrote fan-fic and wore costumes she made to school.

I intended to make this post mostly about that and about the experience of rewatching all of those episodes while writing a character who was an over-the-top exaggeration of me as a teen.

Except that all I had was the three seasons of the original Star Trek reruns at the whim of syndication and a mom who thot ST was sacrilegious , a mail-order fan-club offering only a few black and white autographed photos with one way, one time communication for $$ and the James Blish short stories based on the episodes.  While Nova Jayne Travers can stream at her whim all 5 series (or 6 counting the animated one) and a dozen movies, the World Wide Web, conventions, comic books, RPG games, interactive fan-fic, and fanclubs with video chat, and social media where actors, writers, directors, and producers actually interact with the fans.

Because I'd set out to watch with an eye to the stories' influence on the pyche of a young girl, I paid close attention (for the first time oddly) to all of the female characters throughout.

I planed to go into that here a bit too so I headed over to YouTube to look for some clips that showcased the women but I ran into this one instead and decided to save all of that serious sociological contemplation for a later post when there are more light bulbs on in my brain and instead to pose some questions:

1. Do you have any writer tics with the potential to annoy your readers?
2. Could you trust yourself to spot them?
3. Do you ever spot them in other author's works?
4. If so, is your annoyance ever enough to spoil the story?
5. Enough to make you give up on the story? On the author?

My answers:

1. I'm not sure.  I'll have to keep an eye and ear out when I start rereading my stuff again.  Tho it has been pointed out to me by more than one reader that I overuse punctuation which I suppose would qualify as a tic.
2. Not with confidence.
3. Yes
4. Sometimes
5. Not so far.  That I'm aware of.  At least not with stories and authors that have won my heart.  But it is possible it played a role in stories or authors I gave up on early.  I will have to start paying attention to what turns me away from them from now on and not always assume it is my own inadequacies as a reader when I can't finish a story or when I turn away from a second helping of a new author.
   
   I know I would never give up on Star Trek.  Though I now wish I'd watched the final 12 episodes of Voyager before encountering this vid.  It is occasionally breaking me out of the dreamstate stories put me into.  A couple of times I had to pause until I could get a grip.  That's probably because by the midpoint of this vid I could not keep from snorting and giggling and seeing the clips in situ only an hour or two later triggered the same reaction.  I'm hoping that a good night's sleep will fix that.

But going forward I will never, ever, ever be able to use the phrase, some kind of or any of its variations or permutations in my writing or conversation with a straight face.

Not sure that I ever did anyway because my high school typing teacher had a fanatical distaste of the phrase kind of and did a pretty good job of breaking us of it use.

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Library Lament

The last of the library books I checked out in late October were due yesterday.  I'm spending my last evening with them.  Not sure what difference a few more hours makes stacked up against the nine weeks I've had them but it's one of my little rituals.

The lament the title refers to is for the $27.25 in fines I accrued for this batch of 16 books.  The second time they were due I spaced it for a week.  $.25 per day per item adds up fast.

This is the first time I've ever racked up that big of a fine in all the years I've had a card.  I'm so chagrined.

Was it a measure of the bad place I was in this fall/winter?  Or just of the crazy week following the end of NaNo when I was switching mental gears from NaNo to the Xmas crochet projects?

At least it wasn't my sister's card which I had been using since I arrived in January 2013.  But it was a sad way to inaugurate the first use of my latest Longview Library card.

I finally acceded to the need for having my own card.  I had balked for over 18 months seeing it as symbolic of accepting Longview as my current home and not just the place I am visiting for a time.  But by mid October I knew it would be at least another 3 or 4 months before I could hope for a return to the Rogue Valley and to a new home with Ed.

Tuesday marked the two year anniversary of my arrival for Mom's birthday party and that six week visit that became this Longview limbo.

The Longview Library was my first library and I can still remember my first card. A stiff paper rectangle with round corners and a small metal tab attached to the top left corner.  1962 or 3 I think I was 5.

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Inspiring Joy - ROW80 GOALS Round 1 2015

Inspiring Joy
The box is the second one I got for myself on Saturday.
The peacock watercolor was done by my mom when in college.

Last year I lost my joy.  Double entendre fully intended for it was both my happiness and my self that eluded me.

The cause seems irrelevant at this point.  Whether it was the first anniversary of the last hug goodbye Ed and I exchanged the previous May 11: the illness and death of our furbaby, Merlin in late spring; the ongoing stresses of the January 2013 lifequake aftershocks; the loss of my counselor in September; the disappoint as realization sank in that my husband and I would be spending second holiday season apart--missing both our birthdays, our anniversary, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years; or it was merely the latest wave front of the mood disorder I've weathered with various levels of gracelessness since my tween years--it hardly seems to matter.  At this point it is just a given.

Two incidents turned a nasty, blustering situation into a perfect storm: the one I related in my Round 3 wrap-up last September and the intake appointment with the mental health clinic at which a potential bi-polar diagnosis was revisited just a year after my med nurse at the family clinic had ruled it out, taking my hope that continuing the campaign of  healthy choices of the last two years would lead to my ultimate goal of getting off all the meds.

At some point writing stopped invoking passion and bliss and became duty, lists, goals, charts, measures, chores.  I found myself spending more time with the activities of keeping track and analyzing and writing posts about it than actually writing the creative works.

I can't go back to that.  Which creates a conundrum: How do I participate in ROW80 without getting lost in those minutia when the very purpose is to set measurable goals?

This is why I unintentionally dropped out for round four: I couldn't solve it.  Thus I couldn't write my intentions post.  There was also an element of not wanting to set expectations in order to protect myself from the inevitable failure.
I was drowning in failure already.

But I miss the community--the encouragement, the sense of belonging, the sharing, the inspiration.

Tho I stopped blogging,  I didn't stop writing altogether until after NaNo.  I completed my 11th NaNo but for the first time I didn't enjoy it.

On January 1st I joined One Word 365 choosing the word 'joy' as my focus for 2015.  This is a new social network for those seeking an alternative to New Year's resolutions.  The idea is to focus on one word that sets a theme for your year, looking for ways to meaningfully incorporate it into every day.  Nearly every post this week has given a nod to 'joy'.

In the spirit of One Word 365 I'm making regaining the joy writing has nearly always held for me my ultimate goal for ROW80 2015.  Tho one might say that is measurable in the sense that you either have it or you don't it isn't really in the spirit of a ROW80 goal since it doesn't entail actionable tasks.

So let me put it this way: I'm aiming for a return of the joy of writing.  At the end of each round and the end of the year I'll be judging success by the level of its presence instead of word-count.  The actionable tasks that I believe will prepare the soil for the blooming of joy/Joy are as before all time investment:

• Storydreaming 15min Daily (I never lost this one since instating it in my first round in 2012.  A ROW80 win!)
• Read/Study Craft 15min Daily
• Move/Breathe/Meditate 15min Daily
• Personal Journaling 15min Daily
• Read Fiction 30min Daily
• Social network activities 30min Daily (writing Joystory posts doesn't count only social reaching out like reading/commenting on other blogs, guest posts and posting to fb, twitter, pinterest etc)

That last was one of the first things I let fall by the way when the lifequake overwhelmed me in early 2013 and I now suspect it played a part in losing the joy associated with blogging and being a part of NaNo, JuNoWriMo, ROW80, IMWAYR? and other networks and support groups.  I sank into isolation and took more than I gave. 

I'm feeling quite emotionally fragile this week so I'm not going to set any expectations regarding creative writing files--fiction, poetry, essay--yet.  I'm hoping to be able to revise for that before the end of this round.

I fully intend (and am even looking forward to) returning to work on the structural rewrite of Blow Me a Candy Kiss but it would be setting myself up for failure to make a specific commitment at this time.  Sometime in the next two weeks I will make a commitment for the following week to open the file and reread the story and familiarize myself with what I was doing with it before I set it aside for NaNo. 

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Yarn Gluttony

This is what I brought home...

This was what I went after.

 Saturday was almost like a birthday for me too as after Mom's party, my sister dropped me off at Michael's to take advantage of the last day of their 40-55% off yarn sale.  I was especially looking for another one or two of the Vanna White Glamour Sapphire Blue with metalic thread to go with the one I bought over two years ago.

I didn't have a plan for it when I bought it.  I just wanted it.  It's one of my colors.  It was a rare instance of buying something with intent to make something for myself.

But with only one skein I didn't have many options.  A drawstring bag? A hat? A scarf? I realized recently that what I really wanted was a hat and scarf set.

I didn't know if they were still selling that particular yarn as the last time I looked was over a year ago.  But when I saw that the Vanna's Choice yarn was featured in the sale ad I decided to go look.

Michael's was also having a sale on decorative boxes and I picked up four.  Two for gifts, two for me.  Two of them are featured in the above photos.

Peacock and Butterflies Faux Book Box

 This one was for me.  I collect both butterflies and peacocks.  And blues!!   And a faux book!!!  It was calling my name.

Large Flower Box

I had the clerk put the yarn inside this box to make one less bag to carry and it's still in there until I find it a new home.  I plan to turn this box into a lapdesk and greeting card file for my Mom who's passion is to send cards to everyone on every conceivable occasion--Thank You, Sympathy, Birthday, Get Well, Thinking of You, Welcome Baby, Congratulations, Wedding, Graduation...

She currently has the card boxes in towering piles around her recliner and uses a clipboard on her lap.  Tho usually she is trying to hold the clipboard up closer to her face with one hand.  I've been thinking about this concept for over a year.

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Gullet Goodness

My New NUTRiBULLET

My nephew has one of these and my sister has the original Magic Bullet.  I told my sister over a year ago to watch for a good price for me on either of them.  She found one today.

Eating healthy is going to be so much easier on the teeth!

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Sunday Serenity

Happy 83rd Mom

We held Mom's birthday party at the Electric Bean in Longview, Washington yesterday.  I took a slew of pictures and could not narrow down to reasonable number for a blog post so I decided to try my hand at making a slideshow movie.  First time.

It took several hours. Between that and the couple hours I spent contending with my cell phone for custody of the pictures (the phone crashed minutes after I got the last picture saved to G-drive) I was unable to get this prepped for posting until the wee hours of Tuesday morning.


In the cover shot she is holding the large print devotional, Jesus Calling, from my sister. next she opens fleece pjs also from my sister.  Earlier in the vid she is opening my gifts in the little white bag with blue tissue--a crocheted flower barrette, a crocheted bow barrette, a crocheted bracelet featuring a vintage button from Mom's collection which I confiscated several years ago, and a blue flower bead on a crocheted ribbon with another vintage button for the fastener.

Maurine Coon
Mother of three, Grandmother of five
Her children (and grandchildren)
rise up and call her blessed.

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Family Joy

Birthday Girl

The answer to the question posed in yesterday's post is 4--#'s 3, 4, 5, and 6.  I had to skip sleep to get that many.  Finished sewing the button and clip on the flower barrette while sitting at the table waiting for my plate.  Then clipped it to the gift bag handle instead of fussing with the tissue to rearrange stuff.

Two hours of family rejoicing with our 83 years young Mom followed by two hours of shopping alone at Michael's followed by an hour's vid chat with Ed followed by an hour of fussing with my Michael's haul--yarn and decorative boxes--followed by an hour of misc. fussing--cleaning up the craft workstation, changing out my party clothes into pjs, loading the dishwasher, getting a snack--followed by two hours of wrestling with my Blaze phone for custody of the pics I took today.  Now I'm out of steam and don't feel like prepping any more pics.

Mom went home with my brother's family so my sister and I have a couple days to relax a bit.  We'll both be as busy as ever.  We just won't need to stay hyperaware of what Mom's doing and where she is and when her stomach rings the meal bells or continuously monitor her pain and fatigue levels by her tone of voice and posture, or listening for her voice or footsteps and cane thumps.

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Enjoy Able

Enjoy Able

This fall was a rough ride with my mood a roller-coaster laboring up the inclines towards happy only to zip in a blink into the dips and getting stuck there for a time before beginning the climb again.  I lost interest in many of my regular passtimes but hung onto a few including the ongoing sorting/organizing project, videos (Star Trek and 3rd Rock from the Sun) and fiber arts.  I often combined videos with one of the other two.

Thesethings I still found enjoyable and thus continued to find myself still able to enjoy.  Lifesaving!  No lie.

One of my goals for 2014 was to finish more projects than I started--especially in fiber arts.  By midsummer I'd neither started nor finished many at all so in late August I set out to see how many I could finish before Christmas.  I lost count around a dozen in late October.  I've no idea if I met my goal tho as I started well over a dozen new ones between Halloween and Christmas--gifts and ornaments.

The picture above shows 7 of the items I'm making for Mom.  Some of them were in progress before the late summer push but I began several more.  With her birthday being January 3rd I had to prepare two sets of gifts.  These are not all as I gave her three small items for Christmas--a bookmark, a bracelet and a crocheted bow hairpin.  The items in the picture are the remainder of the smallish items that I still have hopes of finishing before her party begins at noon tomorrow:

1. a pad for her tray to keep her plate or bowl from sliding
2. another tray pad
3. a flower hairpin
4. a bow hairpin
5. a bracelet
6. a necklace
7. a drawstring bag for her heart magnifier

I never got close on any of the bigger items I planned for her: legwarmers, scarf, hat, muff, lap blanket, apron...

Well if I don't get with it, I won't be handing her any new packages tomorrow...today actually as it is now less than nine hours before we leave.

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Joy is the Word

2015: Joy is the Word

I first blogged about this last June.  It's about time I followed through:

One Word 365

One Word 365 suggests that instead of New Year's Resolutions we choose one word to make the theme of our year, to focus on daily in whatever way encourages an increase in or fulfillment of its essence.  

To further such an aim they have provided a kind of social network/support group for those who'd like to give it a try.

I'm thinking of joining and if I do I'm choosing JOY as my word.

For obvious reasons I think.  And the pun is fully intended.

JOY because it is the light at the end of the tunnel of depression which has been my struggle for decades.
JOY because it is my name and thus my sense of self, my identity, my life theme, my aspiration.
JOY because, whether having lost myself stole my joy or having lost my joy hid my self from my sight, seeking after either joy or Joy has to be the path toward reclaiming both and I've come to believe I can't have one without the other.

I can't say my heart's really in this right now.
I'm hoping that will come.
Truly, my heart has not been in much of anything for months.
Not even in me.

Well then, one word
One day at a time
It's worth a try.

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2014: Forget Me Not

forget-me-not by Alice Popkorn  (cc)

So long 2014.

I will not forget you
but not for trying.
Your whirlygig antics have
ground my nerves raw.

Thanks for the memories...
urm...not so much...
well, one, anyway.
OK...two.

I guess you were an affiliate
of the School of Hard Knocks
and devotee of the theory:
'you must be cruel to be kind'

for you were generous with your cruelty
and stinting of your kindness.
Maybe someday I will thank you for the lessons
having found them crucial to my future joy.

but not today...

Today I say "Get thee hence
before I slam that door on your behind...
and take your 'kindness' with you
to where the sun don't shine."

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