Wednesday, August 09, 2023

Wake Up Call - ROW80 check-in

  

The writing challenge that
 knows you have a life

With a timeline like this it is hard not to see self-sabotage or a very unserious intention and then feel like I don't belong in ROW80:
  • Two weeks ago: The hiccup of excruciating pain in neck and between shoulder blades.
  • Last week: "The pain that was last week's hiccup has lessened but it remains easily triggered.  The main issue since Wednesday tho has been the dose of prednisone messing with my head and bio rhythms.  15 years after menopause and I swear I just went through PMS on steroids.  HaHaHa  Pun totally intended.  For most of everyday since Wednesday I've had the mind of a butterfly in the body of a toddler n a bouncy chair who suddenly falls asleep in the middle of a giggle.  Those are the afternoons.  The evenings my body and mind calm down.  All. The. Way. Down.  All the way to Zen.  Now I'm the gecko that's watching the butterfly but has forgotten why it matters.  And sleep?  What's that?."
  • This week: Tooth infection.  Feeling flu-like symptoms and then side-effects of antibiotics.
I've decided to classify that thot in the category of fever-dream.  It sounds too much like Stella my inner harpy.  She needs a chill pill and I need some self-compassion aka Grace which was meant to be my watchword for 2023.

Self-sabotage might fit in a sense that is not directly related to the writing goals.  All of the issues that developed into crisis the last two weeks are due to long term neglect of my health and the fact that my body does not bounce back or moderate consequences as easily as it did a decade ago.

Thus what has been happening can be interpreted as a wake-up call.  Lessons I might acknowledge:
  • You are not a kitten on springs.  Learn fall prevention
  • Don't wait a month after a fall to get checked out
  • Don't let bad teeth fester for years because of a dentist phobia.
  • Remember how close a pus filled tooth socket is to the brain! 
  • My body is a necessary component of any goals and cannot be divorced from the writing goals requirements.  
  • The body rules as it can prosper without the writing but the writing cannot prosper without the body.



 ROW80 Round 3 Goals:

  • Morning pages daily.  Average 40 minutes (ala Julia Cameron The Artist Way and Writing For Life) YES Started May 20.  Probably would not have jumped into NaNo and ROW80 without having had a month of morning pages behind me. Must must must watch my posture.  No hunching over.  No leaning on elbows. But the very fact that I've hung on to this YES throughout the crisis' is PROOF that I am committed to the writing and still belong in ROW80
  • Storydreaming with notebook for noting ideas for characters or scenes. (ala Robert Owen Butler From Where You Dream)  30 minutes per day NO for over ten days.  (The notebook is the key to this goal as without it the storydreams go to the same place night dreams go an hour after waking.)
  • Working on the Fruits of the Spirit (aka FOS) Storyworld Bible at least 30 minutes per day at least 5 days per week.  I'm sure this will expand as I get involved but I need to set a minimum for that jumpstart. NO for over ten days  (still hoping to make this and storydreaming  my ROW80 main project for the remainder of this round as I need a substantial start on it in time to use it for Preptober and NaNo next Round.)  Two weeks ago the reason was days of pain.  Last week the reason was pain and side-effects of steroid treatment for pain.  This week it's a tooth infection.
  • Weekly Artist Date (ala Julia Cameron)  This is about doing something to recharge your creative battery.  I'll go into more detail in one of the check-ins. NOPE  (tho since any excuse to get out of this 400sq foot unit might qualify as stimulation for creativity... there was the visit to urgent care on Tuesday.  But I don't think that is what Julia Cameron had in mind)
  • A minimum of 5 minutes of physical activity daily.  Either a walk outside with my caregiver or a session on my mini-tramp, or pacing the floor between front and back door. YES (may need to look at upping the expectation soon.  this is getting too easy.)  Solid yes in spite of tooth infection and feeling like I have the flu.  Definitely need to up this eventually.  But right now I need at least one easy YES to keep me in this game.
  • I want to reengage with my blog so: Two blog posts per week besides the two check-ins. One about encountering other people's stories via print, video or audio which can include formal reviews.  The other about a current fiber art WIP or about one of my personal challenges: widowhood, independent living with visual impairment and autism and issues related to health and aging among them.  NOPE  (I've continued to choose reading over blogging.  I've been finishing 2 to 3 books a week so there is plenty of fodder for reviews. I think the main hurdle is my personal issue with transitions that is part of my high functioning autism.  (this week the main reason for NO is the tooth infection with pain and flu-like symptoms including extreme fatigue.

1 tell me a story:

Eden "Kymele" Mabee 8/17/2023 12:54 PM  

To be honest, I wonder if you also might be self-sabotaging yourself by writing these highly detailed posts. I mean, yes! They are great. But they also are great works when you might have minute levels of energy to apply to writing. Not to toot my own horn here, but maybe use the "Five Sentences" concept (it was a ROW80 sponsor post I wrote a long time ago). Maybe write five fewer blog sentences, and use those for stories (or for your other blogs you wished to work on). The idea being, it's easier to set a small goal and kick it (kind of the way you have been doing well on the physical activity one)... and then you can say "progress on all fronts" (which sounds SO cool).

It's just a thought

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