Sunday, August 27, 2023

Artist Date for Shut-Ins - ROW80 Check-In

 


The writing challenge that
 knows you have a life


I know I promised a deeper dive into the theme of shame and how it relates to my relationship with my writing and my work habits in my last post--last Sunday.  And I know I then blew off the Wednesday check-in.  But in order not to let this one slide as well I had to give myself permission to dodge the shame story a bit longer.  I'm trying to keep this weekend mellow.  I've slept nearly as many hours as I've been awake since Monday afternoon which I am attributing to having been riding a stress rollercoaster for over a month with the inspection and failing it, the fall and the resulting inflammation followed by med reactions then a tooth infection and more med reactions.  It might also have had something to do with the thunder storm we had Thursday morning coupled with the heatwave on either side of it.  

So this check-in I'm featuring another of my insights that isn't so loaded with the heavy baggage. 

I've made several adjustments to the 'rules' around Julia Cameron's Artist Date.  Once again my limitations make it impossible for me to fulfill Julia Cameron's criteria.  She recommends going out alone and emphasizes the tactile and I do want to get in some tactile time but I can't go out alone so I need an Artist Date I can do by myself.  But it is also not good for me as someone on the spectrum to go from being a shut-in to going on outings that shun the social.  That is especially true for an artist who is on the spectrum as we need to be strongly encouraged to be social and if we are not careful our art will reflect the lack of social insight and even the avoidance of character interaction which is usually the heart of a story.

So I'm going to include outings with my caregiver that are not about errands or chores and visits to my Mom and sister.  I'll also include the walks with my caregiver around my villa and the monthly game day at the villa Hall.  But my newest artist date 'fudge-the-rules' is the online 24/7 cameras.  I'm finding them very creatively stimulating especially with the visual stimulation I crave and from which most of my stories are born.  It is a way for me to 'see' things that I'll never get close to in real life.

I'd never seen a wart hog before my obsessive watching of this bird and wildlife glade in Poland a week or so ago.  They feature in a lot of novels I've read over the years and now I have more than a vague notion of how different they are from the typical farm pig I've actually petted on more than one occasion.  Now I have a nearly visceral concept of how they behave in the wild.  I say 'nearly' as I do realize it is through a flat screen but I saw enough to know I don't need it any more visceral than that  I would not want to be sitting at the table with one that's for sure.

I clicked to view at first for the birds but I stayed for the random surprise visits from deer, fox, squirrel, and wart hogs.  And thunderstorms!  Sometime I leave it on just to listen to the babbling brook sound as background. 

Now it has got me thinking about all the 24/7 cameras out there overlooking all sorts of interesting scenery from wild life to city life and how useful they could be for research or just for ambience for a story.  So I'm going to count them as qualifying as an Artist Date.  

 Please share in comments any links to 24/7 cams you have found interesting.  Even traffic cams, especially in iconic cities, might be useful for this purpose.  But other wildlife scenes are really calling to me right now.


  Artist Date for Shut-Ins
24/7 Forest Glade Birdfeeder in Poland

  


 ROW80 Round 3 Goals:

  • Morning pages daily.  Average 40 minutes (ala Julia Cameron The Artist Way and Writing For Life) YES Started May 20.  Probably would not have jumped into NaNo and ROW80 without having had a month of morning pages behind me. Must must must watch my posture.  No hunching over.  No leaning on elbows. But the very fact that I've hung on to this YES throughout the crisis' is PROOF that I am committed to the writing and still belong in ROW80
  • Storydreaming with notebook for noting ideas for characters or scenes. (ala Robert Owen Butler From Where You Dream)  30 minutes per day NO for over two weeks.  (The notebook is the key to this goal as without it the storydreams go to the same place night dreams go an hour after waking.)
  • Working on the Fruits of the Spirit (aka FOS) Storyworld Bible at least 30 minutes per day at least 5 days per week.  I'm sure this will expand as I get involved but I need to set a minimum for that jumpstart. NO for over two weeks  (still hoping to make this and storydreaming  my ROW80 main project for the remainder of this round as I need a substantial start on it in time to use it for Preptober and NaNo next Round.)  A month ago the reason was days of pain.  The following week the reason was pain and side-effects of steroid treatment for pain.  Two weeks agi it's a tooth infection going on for over a week.  Last week it was the chaos and the work around preparing for a HUD inspection under threat of eviction if I failed again. This past week was primarily about coming down off the anxiety roller coaster with an element of build up to a thunder storm as between Monday evening and Thursday morning I slept an average of 12 hours out of each day in chunks of 3 to 6 hours.  And also my caregiver and I were working extra hard to catch up on things neglected while we focused on the inspection and preparing me for a nearly 4 day stint by myself as she'd had a 3 day weekend on the schedule for months.  I'm nearing the end of that long weekend now and I've spent more than the usual time sleeping again but in between I was reading the new David James Duncan novel, Sun House, via my Libby ap.  An event for me that I've been waiting two decades for.  Because of the font size I need the book is over 5000 screens on my ap and I must finish it in another 10 days or wait months for another turn.  I'm on track having reached screen 1500 late last night.  This book is important to my FOS storyworld theme as it features a lot of reference to the spiritual in metaphor and symbol as well as referencing many of the mystics over the centuries.  It's the kind of novel I need to take notes as I read which also slows down the progress.
  • Weekly Artist Date (ala Julia Cameron)  This is about doing something to recharge your creative battery.  I'll go into more detail in one of the check-ins. YES  In two ways.  The first was going on an outing to a nearby park and sitting in the sun and the breeze and watching small children play and birds cavort and the breeze in the leaves.  Glorious.  The second was discovering and becoming addicted to the 24/7 Forest Glade bird feeder I've embedded in this post.  Also due to my being on the autism spectrum it is crucial that I force myself into social situations otherwise my stories have a chilling deficit in character interactions.  That's why I count visiting my Mom and going to the park.  So now I can look forward to more YESes on this goal.
  • A minimum of 5 minutes of physical activity daily.  Either a walk outside with my caregiver or a session on my mini-tramp, or pacing the floor between front and back door. YES (may need to look at upping the expectation soon.  this is getting too easy.)  Solid yes in spite of tooth infection and feeling like I have the flu.  Definitely need to up this eventually.  But right now I need at least one easy YES to keep me in this game.  --  I do believe that having kept up this goal made all the work prepping for the inspection redo possible. I discovered I could get a lot done over time in 5-15 minutes of activity interspersed with an equal amount of rest.  As long as I kept my mind on the project during the rest periods.
  • I want to reengage with my blog so: Two blog posts per week besides the two check-ins. One about encountering other people's stories via print, video or audio which can include formal reviews.  The other about a current fiber art WIP or about one of my personal challenges: widowhood, independent living with visual impairment and autism and issues related to health and aging among them.  NOPE  This past week it was the extra sleep that stole my usual blogging time from me.  I'm hoping that I will have recovered from riding the stress train for a month by the end of this quiet weekend.

3 tell me a story:

Eden "Kymele" Mabee 8/28/2023 2:05 PM  

Joy, I know you're dealing with a lot of stuff. And it's so easy for someone who isn't experiencing what you are to say "why don't you try this" without helping at all.

BUT....

One small thing I will suggest since I found it helped me a LOT. Stop writing all the reasons you couldn't do a thing. Certainly don't repeat the reason, even if you need to record it once for posterity. Remove the reasons from the checklist after a check-in and start anew.

Every time you record that failure, you embed it, drill it in, reminding yourself of the fact it happened. If you feel you cannot start the "NOPE" goals quite yet because you're still building strength in the "YES" goals, then change their text color and say "on hiatus' for the remainder of the ROWnd.

And... try setting some 1 minute timers. 1 minute for a few words or ideas... or... for just a moment of reset. (as someone who has a lot of trouble shifting focus on demand, it's an oddly useful tool for getting something done)

Joy Renee 8/30/2023 8:54 PM  

Eden, What you said really resonated with me. I've been musing on it for a couple of days and I see a relevance in this habit of mine to dwell on my history of failure to the theme of shame in my life that I've been deep diving for several weeks.

As for the timer thing... I have a weird history with clocks and timers. When they are in play I can't think about anything but the passing of time. In school I would watch the second hand instead of doing the assignment. When I set a timer on my cell I'm more likely to watch the icon spin or the digital display count down than to switch to the task at hand.

But...

I just got a flash of a thought. I know that one of the ways I can short circuit my resistance to changing the subject/task is to get on the mini tramp for 3 to 5 minutes for a gentle bounce. I get lost in that--the motion and sensation. It is like a reset. Often tho there isn't time for that or I'm not down for the effort of moving the beanbag off and back on the tramp. But If I used my tendency to be hypnotized by the timer and purposely watch it for one minute and see if that helps me disengage from the previous task and be ready to engage with a different one. It might take more than one minute but I would set if for 1 minute at a time. Ha! I just remembered that I used to use the old kaleidoscope-in-motion screen savers that way. Not as an intentional plan but something I stumbled into and accused myself of time-wasting until I realized the purpose it was serving.

Suggestions are always welcome and I try to give them a safe place to percolate in my mind before I discard them as unworkable for me.

Eden "Kymele" Mabee 9/03/2023 7:16 PM  

I used to love watching screen savers too! (Remember the pipes one on Windows 95, where you'd occasionally see a teapot?)

I love the idea of using it as a reset though. Or the mini-tramp... That just sounds fun. I need one now. :-)

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