Retrieving the Words

Source: via Kris Jurski on Inspired to Reality

Sounding Central Truth
by Joy Renee

What do you mean by denying a
Truth that is right before your eyes?
Just because a neighbor neighs a lie
And it seems easier to agree than to
Say the emperor has no clothes?
It is the naked truth that we must see
And we must say what we have seen.
We must retrieve the words from that
Place where they reside, where they
Are not yet hide-bound, where they
Abound in unsounded musings. And
Tell it from the crazy place where truth is.
Write it from the dark place where light burns
So hot it consumes itself. Where the weight
Of reality draws real things into the
Hole of no escape--the Event Horizon--
Where abide the convent of Graces
Hidden from those who know their places,
Who scorn play for duty, who know they are
Safe only where none can accuse them
Of abusing their faces by exposure
To pleasure and beauty. Beware of
Safety if you mean to defy the
Word of the herd and speak from the place
Where none worship the face. Decry the
Lie that others live by and live to
Conspire with Creation’s desire for
Passion and wonder. Embrace the All.
Consummate the meaning.
Sing the secret from your center.

(c) 1998-2018 Joy Renee

I posted this poem previously with an explanation of its history, inspiration and personal meanings so I won't repeat it here tho I encourage anyone interested to check it out as it might enhance the experience of reading the poem and it will add to the understanding of what this poem means to me in the context of today and going forward.

I am re-posting the poem as the intro to this post which I hope will be the first in a return to regular blogging after over two years of sparse posting.  I'm allowing the poem to stand in as both declaration of intent to 'retrieve the words' and hints as to why I have for so long been avoiding 'the place where they reside'.

To be slightly more explicit:
It was the height of the 2016 election season that sent me into the dark place. Since I did not want to turn Joystory into a political blog I chose not to discuss it here but then the hyperfocus of my autism spectrum kicked into hyperdrive and soon politics, news, current events and flashbacks to traumatic events in my own history that were triggered by them consumed my every waking moment.  I didn't just stop blogging.  I stopped writing altogether.

I was about to start blogging again around the one year anniversary of the election but then the #MeToo movement triggered another emotional setback for me as it triggered memories of my own MeToo traumas.  Then I was thinking about starting up again in early September when the news of Christine Blasey Ford's allegations broke.  In the last year I've spent hours on the Twitter hashtags #MeToo and #WhyIDidntReport letting the feelings wash over me, trying to work up the courage to join the conversation.

I wish I had the courage of Ms Blasey Ford.

I'm not there yet.

But...

The urge to start blogging again has returned as well as the urge to start writing again in general.  I realized that I was letting the fear of having to explain the hiatus and thus tell the stories rooted in the personal traumas stop me.  I don't know why I had attached that prerequisite to a return to blogging but I finally realized that I could be as vague as I needed to be if I absolutely had to require of myself a "I'm Back and Her'e Why I Left" post.