Brené Brown at TEDxHouston
The Price of Invulnerability
I lost count of the ah ha! moments these twenty minutes gave me.
In a nutshell:
- We're born to be connected.
- Interpersonal disconnect defines our current culture.
- What breaks interpersonal connection aka relationship?
- Shame. Guilt.
- Why do some weather encounters with shame and guilt while others are sunk by it?
- Those who are sunk have a deep-seated sense of unworthiness while those who weather it have a pervasive sense of worthiness.
- That sense of worthiness keeps their hearts whole and resilient.
How do the wholehearted live?
- With the courage to be imperfect.
- With compassion and kindness beginning with themselves.
- With connections rooted in authenticity--able to let go of shoulds be who they are
- Believing they are enough just as they are
- Embracing vulnerability--seeing it as the source of their beauty
- With willingness to takes risks--love with no guarantees
- Releasing need to be in control
- Practicing gratitude and joy
Those without the skills of wholeheartedness attempt to escape the pain by numbing the difficult emotions through:
You cannot numb selectively.
Attempts to numb sadness, shame, grief, anger, fear...
Will also numb love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope...
Without emotions life looses meaning and purpose.
Don't be satisfied with my synopsis tho. Listen to her presentation. The story she tells about the course of her research is priceless. And there are plenty of points I didn't include. Plus I paraphrased in places.
And she's funny.